Higgins' 07/08 Ukraine Adoption Journey

Still going strong

2010-10-20T12:45:00.001-07:00

Well, I haven't been here in awhile but I think about it all the time. Today is two years since we had our interview. How things have changed...for the better.

I don't know if anyone is still looking at this blog but I may get the girls to start adding their parts to it as well. We are all doing very fine. Our girls love school and have adjusted very well.

I hope to find time to update and put up some pictures.

I love being a Papa!!

Chris

Yes, We are still alive and well

2009-02-04T22:46:00.000-08:00

Hi All,

No, we haven't fallen off the face of the planet, though it seems like it sometimes. This is just going to be a quick note for those still visiting this blog. I've been trying to find time in the last several weeks to give an update but haven't found any real time to do it except when I've been too tired to type.

I used to wonder what why the blog entries would slow down after coming home. I now know why. Our two girls are wonderful and we feel that we have it easy compared to many adoptive families. Our girls are healthy and bright (many times I think a bit too bright for our good :) ).

The adjustment is going very well and we are all bonding quickly. I think the girls are adjusting quicker than Virginia or I. Up until they started school two weeks ago, I would do the morning duty and then get on to work and Virginia had the girls for the day. Virginia was originally going to be working full time and I was going to do the Mr. Mom routine when I wasn't with clients. Our welcome home gift from her company was a pink slip. It would have been easier to take but she was our insurance carrier. Oh well, we are making due.

Christmas was wonderful and we had both sides of our families descend on us. The girls were a bit overwhelmed but really enjoyed knowing that they have a sizable family. They connect very well and are quite sociable.

Getting them into school was more difficult than I had thought it would be. First, both girls but especially Olena was very scared to start school because of the language differences. Second, the school they are zoned for is not one that I was willing to send them to. I had contacted the county director of ESL and got a list of schools that had Russian speaking children already in them. I wanted them to have someone that they could relate to when starting to make their transition a little easier. After going to 7 or 8 schools and learning that there were no students still speaking Russian, we went back to our first choice and finally recieved a variance. I take them to school and pick them up each day (8 miles each way) and feel it's well worth it to give them a good school to attend. They both love school and are adjusting well to the language differences. Actually, their language skills are amazing me and their teachers, both of which love having these girls in their classes.

One last note: I now really appreciate what a single parent has to go through. Virginia had to go back East for two weeks and I've had the girls to myself for the last week. Olena was sick today and couldn't go to school so I couldn't get to any work today either. It seems that Sasha is coming down with something and I hope she can beat it before it gets as bad as Olena's. The only time is a short time in the evening when I'm already dog tired from the days events. Today, I decided I was going to give this short updated and now I'm ready for bed.

On this note, good night and God bless you all.

From a tired but happy new parent,
Chris

Home Sweet Home

2008-12-13T21:51:00.000-08:00

13 Dec 2008

We made it. We've been home a little over 24 hours and it already feels like a lifetime. The girls love the house and have made themselves at home already. We did not have family or friends at the airport because we needed a bigger car to get us all home and the girls just needed a bit of rest. The jet lag and travel are brutal but the girls did pretty well by any standards. I'll try and not make this a long post because I'm also suffering from jet lag. We were up at 4 am this morning which was better than the night before but we are hoping the girls sleep in tomorrow until at least 7am.

It was an 11 hour flight from Kiev to JFK. Up early the next day for an early flight of 5.5 hours that left an hour late, 2 hour layover in Salt Lake and then another 2.5 hours to Reno. It's a 10 hour difference from Reno to Kiev so jet lag is a definite bummer...

We had family over today so they wore themselves out playing and having a good time in general. They seem to be a match all the way around, but then I knew that. I can't tell you how I knew that, but I knew it from the SDA appointment on. Ah, but I diverge.

The girls are doing great and we are slowly recovering from the long travels, but not the journey because there is nothing to recover from. Sounds silly, but this journey has changed us; all of us. Our experiences have left an everlasting positive impression of a peoples that are very foreign to us. I was asked by our landlady if their way of life was more difficult than ours. If that's all you know, then it's not any more difficult than ours, but since we know of another way of life, then yes, their lives are more difficult than ours in daily living. I can appreciate this much more now than I could before. Oh, I could keep on this topic for awhile but I'm falling asleep at the keyboard.

I'll start posting the updates that I kept on my computer when I wasn't able to get Internet access. It's going to take several days to do so as I do run on a bit and will need to edit for the blog.

For those about to travel, I salute you.

Chris

Last update while in country.

2008-12-09T03:37:00.000-08:00

Hi All,

Just an quick update until we get stateside. We'll be home on Friday so I'll do some updates this weekend. I'll also post more pictures this weekend when I can work them.

For Sweeta, let us know which and I'll get it to you. I assume it's one of the infrared ones.

Or passports were ready on Wednesday of last week. We then had a quick party for the girls and went to Simferop0l to pick up the docs. We stopped by their birth town and took a walk around and learned a few things about their parents. Enlightening!! After picking up the passports, we got tickets for the train to Kiev and away we went. I'll describe this whole trip in more detail once we get back.

Right now we have the girls in an Internet Cafe here in Kiev and they just don't have the patience for this and Virginia isn't feeling adventurous enough to kill an hour wadering the streets of Kiev. For those about to come here, it's cold and snowy but feeling more like Ukraine in winter than the past week.

We are all doing fine and got the visas on Monday so we are officially done with the process here and ready to go home. Once the girls hit US soil, they are officially American citizens and we just need to do some paperwork to get their SS cards.

Family, we will be making calls once we get to New York. We'll be arriving at 4pm local and may take 2 hours to get though immigration and to the hotel. Virginia's phone is not working so we'll be calling from my phone so we may not have all the numbers with us. We'll do what we can, don't hesitate to call us and leave a message if we don't answer because we'll probably be on the phone.

As mentioned, I'll do some big updates this weekend. For clients, I'm looking at catching up starting Monday so give me a call on Friday and leave a message if you have a fire. I'll prioritze from these messages.

Hope all is well with you all.

We have our Girls and this is going to be a wonderful Christmas.

Love and Miss you all,

Sasha, Olena, Virginia and Chris

At Last, another update

2008-12-01T00:26:00.000-08:00

Hi Kaitlin and Rafaela :) from Yalta.

Hi All,

Sorry for the long absence, but we've been doing the Great Ukrainian Paperchase. First, there are new pictures I posted today, mostly of the girls.

To make a long story short (can't happen here), the court decree has some wording issues that other agencies didn't like. After getting them fixed, these other agencies were all messed up. The vital records didn't match the birth certificates and papers had to be changed, several times. Each time was a trip to Simperofol (2 hours each way) and one day was twice. We had to have the girls with us since we needed to get their passport photos done when we finished with the paperchase. Little to say that the girls didn't attend school all week except for Monday. We finally got the agencies to get their paperwork in order and got the passports ordered on Friday.

The passport paperwork is in Kiev today so we should have the passports by Thursday...God willing. Then train to Kiev and outprocess our embassy. Our original flights we set for the 9th but were cancelled by Delta so we rescheduled them for the 11th. Good thing because we can't make the 9th will all the paperwork delays.

It's been an eventful week...NOT. We've had the girls all night and all day and have somewhat a routine. Well, we did until today. They are back in school for the next three days so we get them up and ready. They go to school during the day and we'll pick them up after homework time to feed them at our place. They no longer sleep and bathe at the Internat. Legally they are ours and the director is allowing them to spend time in school while they can.

They are so eager to come home with us. There is no question that they want us as their parents and they as our children. It's a match made in heaven of which I can give numerous examples of why our setbacks led us to them. For now, each girl has laid claim to each of us. If the other girl spends too much time with their parent, it can get kind of ugly. While travelling, Olena gets car sick so we kept here in the middle seats of a Van and Sasha sat in the back (rough ride), usually with me. We would play some games or something to pass the time. This weekend it seemed that Olena had a melt down and I feel some of it was because Sasha spent a lot of time with me. Gotta find a way to keep things in balance until we can communicate better.

Sasha has gotten in the habit of just saying "Ne or Da" "Popi". I explained that this will not do and she needs to try and communicate better, even if in Russian. Now both of them go rambling on with me and I'm left bewildered half the time. We do manage to get our ideas across and they are becoming more patient with their communications. I feel good at where we are at but can't wait until this gets easier. We've been working on their English, but the environment is not overly conducive to learning English. Until recently, they were returning to the Internat every night and only spent 2 hours a day with us so we are not as far along as we had hoped. They both want to learn English but it takes time.

Last night, I worked with Sasha and Virginia worked with Olena on their English. When Sahsa had had enough, then it was time to teach Popi some Russian. I have to say I'm having a hard time with it, especially with some of their sounds. Speaking of language, Shelly, we're using an Ectaco ITravl with Russian-English. I ordered it online and they are expensive. It's supposed to speak as well as recognize both languages, but that part broke once we got here. Since I don't have real internet access, it's been a difficult process trying to get this fixed remotely. Right now, they want me to download a 300Mb file which I cannot do here so I'll wait till I get home. We decided to keep it and get it fixed because it's helping the girls spell Russian. It won't tranaslate a misspelling so they have to get it right. You can email me and I'll respond better when I get back to the US. Just a note: I've heard that there are new changes at the SDA starting today and that there has been a stop to all dossiers being accepted for the time being. I don't know the details and they may be accepting again, but just thought I'd pass that on. This info is a few days old.

Devin, we did get the first set of photos but haven't gotten any since. Please wait until we are home to send us more because we can't view them half the time. Their computers are tempermental and I never know when I can see attachments or not. We look forward to seeing more pictures and mostly getting to see you all again. When we hit our shores, we'll give you a shout.

There are so many things to say but like usual, just don't have time to say it all. Though we, as expected, have some issues with the girls (and who doesn't), they are small. We have two wonderful girls who are healthy, smart and loving. We couldn't have asked for more and are definately more (in a good way) than I had expected. I've said this before, and I'll say it again, they are really excited to meet family. We've shown them pictues of what I brought with me and they get a charge from them. Everytime they see a program on TV, they ask if it's America. Then we have to explain that America is big and there are lots of places that are not Nevada.

Grandpa, they are excited to have a grandpa. They have asked about you several times. Since these girls have only been in the Internat for 2 years, they've had a family life before here. We don't know what that life held for them, but they seem ready to move on and happy to be in our family. They know we aren't leaving Alupka yet, but they were packing their suitcase yesterday. They kept out just enough cloths to hold them over till we travel. They even packed their toys saying that they won't need them until after the travelling. It's very cute. They are adorable and I think you'll take to them quickly. We'll just have to keep Sasha from climbing all over you :). Virginia refers to her as our "Little Monkey".

We've already bonded very heavily to these girls and they are getting there with us. They also look after each other as well. Sasha was sick the other night and Olena told Papa that she would take care of her and did all the comforting. I usually like to spend the last few minutes of the evening carressing their foreheads to help them settle down and get to sleep. Not that night, Olena was playing mother hen. They do trust us which is a very important step to begin with. It's already feeling like a family and others have mentioned that we already look like a family.

Moose, are you working out. If not, keep the tylenol handy because Sasha will literally climb up you to get on your shoulders. No kidding; she's a nimble little thing and quick too.

Well, since I can't remember what I really wanted to say, I'm going to sign off which will spur the memory and I'll post it later if I have the chance.

Love and miss you all,

Chris and Virg

Still waiting

2008-11-20T02:16:00.000-08:00

Not much new for this post. Come to find out that they will allow us to upload a file to one of their systems for a fee. I may just do this next Monday when we'll be back in Yalta to pick up the court decree.

We've also been busy taking some video of the girl playing through one of my camera's. It's not the best quality but you should have seem them when they got to watch themselves on the screen. I need to see if I can get it to play on the TV so they can say the've been on TV :). I'll get some of these posted once we get home. I'll make a DVD for family afar so you can put sound to the faces until we see you all.

Moose, I hope you've been working out. Virginia says she sees a difference in my bicepts from the time we got here because of all the playing with the girls. Also, brush up on whatever Russian you can because they will not know much of any English.

For those about to travel, we have used a travel phrase translator and it has been VERY useful. Then again, our girls can spell, somewhat, and they like to use it when actions don't get their point across.

Running out of time so until next Monday,

Cheers all and enjoy life,
Chris and Virginia

Pictures of the Girls

2008-11-18T02:27:00.000-08:00

Hi All,

Well, I've tried to post here from my site but these cafe computers are too much junk for me to use reasonably. There are three pictures posted to my photo site on the right hand link.

The first one is of the four of us on Day one shortly after we met. The other two are of them on the Yalta waterfront. The only way I got these shots posted was by pulling them from an email message I had sent awhile ago. So for now, no more pictures until I find another internet cafe. There is supposed to be one in Alupka but is run out of someone's apartment and I haven't found it yet.

What news since I last posted...

We are on day 4 of our 10 day wait. For those not in the know, it's not totally official until we pick up the papers on Monday from the court. The court has granted us these children but until the 10 days are up, we don't have the paperwork.

Both girls are doing great and want to get out of here and start their new life. It's hard for them to understand why, when the court has given us the go, for them to still be at the Internat. Each day we have to tell them they have to go back and they really don't want to.

It looks like we'll have to process the passports through Simperofol but we are looking at staying in Alupka. We haven't asked if it's alright for the girls to still go to school while we are waiting for the passports. We will have the girls in our flat and have them go to school each day, if allowed. We hope to take one day and sightsee with the girls. Also, there is supposed to be a play or something like that that we have been invited to but dont' know when.

We are haning in there. Time is dragging slowly for us and we are ready to complete this process. For travel sake, I'm in no hurry to get home but want to get the girls into a steady environment ASAP.

We showed the girls pictures of Virginia's brother's wedding. They are excited to meet the family. They use the word "Class" to refer to something cool or classy. They kept using the word when seeing all the cousins they have. So, Bill, any plans in the making for this holiday season. We know the situation and we're there ourselves.

We sent away for plane tickets for the girls today so we are hoping that the 9th will be on target. If not, this is going to get expensive real fast. I've been keeping a log on our computer for their memory book, just no way to post it here, for now.

Hope all is well with the world and all is going well here.

Once again, we wanted to say thanks for the comments and emails as they do mean a lot to us.

Cheers from Yalta...still,
Chris and Virginia

Court Update

2008-11-13T03:27:00.000-08:00

First, thanks for all the support, prayers and good thoughts.

We had court today and I'd like to introduce:

Olena Angela Higgins (The Older) and
Alexandra (Sasha) Cassandra Higgins (The Younger)

The girls picked their middle names from a list we supplied and they decided to keep their first names. The younger one goes by Sasha.

Court went well today and we don't expect any problems with the 10 day wait period since these girls have no family. The town we are in is Alupka which is near Yalta and is quite beautiful.

We may have a lead on an Internet Cafe in Alupka so I'll post more from there.

Moose, will you post two of the pictures I sent you to my photo site. I'll email you with the login info. The pictures I want are the four of us on our first day and the one with the two girls laughing together.

I'll post more pictures when I can get real access.

Love and miss you all,
Chris and Virginia...Proud Parents

11 Nov Update

2008-11-10T23:59:00.000-08:00

Hi All,

My posts will be smaller and I won't be able to upload pictures until we find another internet cafe. This one no longer allows us to use thumbdrives or access to CD drives or anything. We are highly bummed out about this because we need to get access to programs and such but can't get to them now. Sigh, anyway...

We have our hearing date for this Thursday. We hope we can get our court date the same day so we can then start the 10 day wait. The 10 days ends on Sunday we we'll get the court decree on Monday the 24th. We then need the new birth certs from their town but Monday is reserved for death certificates so we won't get them till Tuesday. Tuesday the 25th we'll apply for the passport and have to wait about 5 working days +-, then off to Kiev for physicals and embassy work which could take another 3 or so days. God willing, we just may be able to make our plane itenerary on the 9th and home on the 11th. We need all the prayers and positive thoughts we can get.

We don't know if it made the news there, but the American woman who adopted a 12yr. girl made the prime time news. This was not a good thing because the girl got scared, started screaming and decided she didn't want to go jsut before boarding the plane. After checking the documents, it appears that the court decree was in error. It stated that her brother could not be found but the authorities found him on the same day this all happened. The mother then decided that she didn't want this child because she was a problem child. You have to wonder why this woman even decided to adopt this girl if she thought she was a problem child. The child is back into the shelter and the woman is still here in Ukraine. You have to wonder now what the judges are going to think when they make their final decisions. The adoption was legal and all the paperwork was in order except that the brother was easily found after the fact. We hope that this has no effect on us or those coming after. Each thing like this puts international adoption in bad light and especially Americans adopting.

It seems that where the girls are at is a standard Internat, not what we call a boarding school. Our translator was told by another American couple that is was better to use "boarding school" instead of Internat so that's where my comfusion came in. I asked our translator to explain the difference and we came to understand that Internat is the preferred use by Ukrainians and us as well. For those not familiar, this is a standard Orphanage for older children. It's a combination of true orphans such as our girls and those who can't afford their children at home so the state takes care of them.

So that's it for now. I had a much longer post of dailies but can no longer get it posted from this cafe so we'll be looking for another.

Ta-Ta for now,

Chris and Virginia

3 Nov - 5 Nov Update

2008-11-06T00:05:00.000-08:00

3 Nov 2008

New Pictures Posted. Just a few more that I scraped up, nothing really new.

Today started out just as most of them do when we go to Yalta. We started the morning with a cup of java and something to eat. Nothing overly exciting, but a nice routine all the same. While we drank our coffee, we received a call from our facilitator in Kiev. It appears that the Notary made a mistake in the paperwork and we needed to have it redone. Luckily, we were across the street from the Notary and they acknowledged their mistake and redid the paperwork ASAP.
Now we had two problems. First, we needed to get the paperwork to Kiev ASAP so our facilitator can submit it to the SDA. The SDA wouldn’t accept a fax while this paper was in route so we needed to find the fastest way, which there really isn’t any from here. A courier service would take two days from here. There isn’t any railway or airport near here so everything must go though Simferopol where it can catch an overnight train or fly. The second problem was that Irina was waiting to speak to the judge so she couldn’t leave to get the paperwork to Simferopol. Kind of a catch 22; if she left to get the paper on the train, then she may miss the opportunity to speak to a judge. She was told to wait for the secretary’s call to arrange the meeting so she was stuck. To make a long story short, she paid the court fees and was told not to call the secretary, the secretary will call her. She got a ride to Simferopol and got the paper on the next flight.
As of Monday afternoon, we are on our own. Irina went home with our blessings since there is nothing more for her to do here. She’ll wait till she hears from the court secretary or until Monday when she will be here anyways to push the process. The secretary knows we want a Monday court hearing. We feel comfortable enough to not need an interpreter with us all the time. Somehow, we are able to express our intentions and we get along just fine. Irina spent a fair bit of time giving us the ins and outs of where to shop and what to expect so thanks to here for our confidence.

We got back to our little town kind of late and only had about an hour to spend with the girls. Now that the girls are back in school, we get them for only two hours a day which is better than nothing at all. There is a small store (magazine) with nearly each large building and we take the girls to the closest to the school for some juice and anything else we may need. We then go to a playground that belongs to the building (think large tenement housing) to have some play time together. I noticed that the play gear was newly painted but the older one decided to sit on the swing though I motioned for her not to. The paint felt dry to the tough but was in fact still wet underneath. She loves her emerald green velour pants which now are both green and yellow on the behind. She still wears them though.

We haven’t had much time with any of the other kids here though my intentions were different before I got here. During fall break, there weren’t many kids in the school as most have families that picked them up for the week. During that time, the girls were still insecure and didn’t want any other kids, especially girls, around us. Now that schools is back in, we don’t have that much time with them and they monopolize our time (with our blessings). We try every couple of days to give them something that they can share with their friends. It’s just something that we can do for them and some of the other children.

We spent the night watching the new Horton movie we picked up. We hadn’t seen it yet so we thought we might preview it in English to see if it is appropriate for the girls. Who am I kidding, we love these movies and have been buying them for years. It’s a cute movie and we’ll probably enjoy watching it in Russian as well. Actually, we laughed pretty hard on some of the scenes. We also bought Ratatouille but my laptop won’t decode it so I’ll have to wait till I hack the DVD drive to play all regions. I’ve found that as long as you are using a digital connection to your display (all newer laptops are this way), they’ll play PAL encoded discs just fine as long as it will play the region. We also brought along a portable DVD player that I hacked to play all regions and it plays Ratatouille just fine. At first I thought the disc might be bad but luckily it isn’t. Now I’m looking for Disney’s “Song of the South” that we can’t get in the US. I do have a copy from Japan burned from an old Laser Disc. The quality isn’t bad, but a real DVD copy would be great and I just as soon have an official copy of it. If Disney would release it in the US, I’d buy it there. Enough of this topic but I can steer adoptive parents to be into the right direction for watching DVD’s on their laptops from valid purchases.

4 Nov 2008

We spent the day relaxing in the flat. We did some laundry by hand and put the sun to use. We have a heater that looks like a fan and generates twice the heat of the sun, or so it seems. Ever since Irina left, the weather has been cold and damp with a thick marine layer all day. The cloths hang from a rack in our living room with the heater on them and they take several hours to dry, but they dry. In Kiev, we used a small heater fan to dry our cloths overnight and here we bring in the sun with us. Both ways, we have dry cloths without having to wait several days for them to dry.

We visited the girls (show surprise) but the older one was feeling a bit under the weather and the younger one was sleeping. We took the older one out for a short time to the store and then to the school play ground just for a place to visit. We had bought her and her sister a stick of artificial crab which they love. The older didn’t eat her sister’s crab, but she wanted more. She did the begging thing, looking up at me and saying “pleeeeze Papi” over and over (good thing she hasn’t learned to give puppy-dog eyes, then I’d be in trouble; Danielle and Annabelle, please don’t teach them) to no avail. Virginia stood by me and we had already told her that I’d buy two the next day for them since they were pretty small. She persisted and did the pout thing and wouldn’t get up off the ground on her own. Some of this was playing and some was because she wasn’t feeling well so I just picked her up and threw her over my shoulder and carried her up the stairs. Of course she laughed the whole way and asked me to put her down so I did. It’s hard to be pouty when you are laughing so hard. Then she decided just how long I’d hold out and turned her back to us and just stood there as we walked towards her dorm. I then explained that it was time for us to go and she came along without any problems. I find it comforting that they are testing as this is normal behavior and appropriate. Unfortunately for them (or so they will think), but Virginia and I hold similar ideas on child rearing and present a united front which we will need with these two cuties. I do have to say that the testing is a minor part of our visits and most of the time is spent cuddling, playing and overall a positive experience. These girls were loved and bonded with their bio family; that is apparent.

5 Nov 2008

Today we ventured into Yalta by ourselves. We got a late start so we were only able to do a few things, the Internet cafй was one of them only after our java and snack. I checked out a machine for 2 hours and Virginia for one hour and we still ran out of time. (Grandpa, go ahead and send your questions to my higgmeister email address as I check this one whenever I update the blog.) These machines are so slow; I type a paragraph and wait about a minute for the typing to appear on the screen. Thank goodness that I can touch type though I do have to go back and correct a few mistakes. For those getting our emails, please excuse the typos because I usually don’t have time to fix all the typos and only fix those that lose their meaning. Virginia doesn’t have this problem because she types much slower than myself (I think I’m about 70 +-words a minute) so maybe I should slow down. I could just write “Not much happened today”, but then I couldn’t waste your time reading these entries.

Today’s visit was a productive one. We brought them back to our flat and spent some time teaching them some English. Virginia worked with the younger one on nouns around the flat and she did very well. I worked with the older one on how to tell time with an analog clock, in English of course. She is sharp and picked it up very fast. We still need work but she understands the fundamentals and just needs practice. We’ll give her plenty of that. I don’t believe anyone has ever taught her how to tell time. They use a 24 hour clock here as in most of Europe but we made it though A.M and P.M. without too much problem.

As for the younger one, I thought she might have a harder time learning English than her sister, but I’m beginning to change my opinion on that. She too is picking it up very fast and both are saying phrases and words we haven’t even taught them. I think when we get to the states where mostly English is spoken, they will pick it up very fast. They want to learn and both are sponges. (Moose, have you found out anything on a Russian ESL for the girls yet, I don’t want their second language to be Spanish!) What’s funny is if they say a word in Russian and we don’t understand, they will try it in Ukrainian thinking we might understand. We were working on numbers today with the younger one and someone said three and she said quarto. Virginia asked if she spoke Russian or Italian and she giggled up a storm, then said Russian. They know I struggle with my Russian but you should have seen their eyes light up when I started counting very fast in Spanish. That’s nearly all I remember from my Spanish classes from many years ago.

After about an hour of English lessons, we ticked each other for quite a spell. From what we’ve seen so far, we think the girls are good natured and kind. They like their quiet time and they like their play time. As mentioned before, the younger one likes to be thrown into the air and rough-housed in general. When she’s tired Papi out she stops and well all calm down and do something quiet. In case I haven’t mentioned it in this post, we have a wonderful time with the girls and really enjoy their company. We all like each others company and it must show because the caregivers are always commenting on how we already look like a family. It’s probably because we already feel like a family even if the paperwork doesn’t say so. We’ve all become very close already.

We get calls each day from our stateside facilitator (Victoria) and our translator (Irina). Irina was a little surprised that we ventured into Yalta on our own. I would think it criminal to not venture out into this beautiful country and see some sights, with our without a translator. Our Ukrainian facilitator provided us a phone for our use so in a pinch we can call someone. I don’t feel threatened here and am feeling quite comfortable though I wish I could speak the language. It would make things a bit easier (i.e. We won’t take the girls into Yalta by ourselves even if we had permission just in case something goes awry). I’ve had times when I’ve been with one of the girls without the translator at hand, but that’s usually when we had to find a bathroom for one of the girls.

Some Observations:

For PAP, at least learn the alphabet so you can pronounce Russian or Ukrainian. I find that once I pronounce the word, it’s sound is similar to our English word. I couldn’t tell you what it is in the Cyrillic alphabet, but know what it is when sounded out. Russian/Ukrainian is hard for me to learn, but worth every bit of time spent. Now that we are here, It’s easier to pick it up since we are immersed in the language. I knew the alphabet before I came here and am glad I had gotten at least that far.

The people on the outside aren’t apparently friendly, but when engaged are very helpful. This is actually quite nice when one doesn’t know their language. As you pass people, they don’t expect you to acknowledge them or even make eye contact. I’ll hold open doors as I’m accustomed to and some people will make a low level Pazalus but usually if they do say something I can barely make it out. They aren’t rude, just guarded of strangers.

The women are petite. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many tiny women in my life. They aren’t tiny by their standards but are by ours. I’d say many are 5’0” – 5’3” and thin. Thin is definitely in, more so in Kiev than here. Looks play an important part here, I just don’t know how much. Most people are better dressed than our counterparts in the US. I dress in nice khakis and a nice shirt and I’ve been mistake for a local several times. I don’t feel like I stand out and Virginia wears nice slacks with a nice top and she doesn’t stand out either.

I almost forgot this little tidbit. When reading other blogs, they mentioned that people would try on cloths right there in the market street. They’ve taken their kids shopping for cloths and they’ll strip right there and try on the cloths. It’s even been written where women will try on tops right there. Now, I haven’t seen this, but I’ve experienced it. I need some blue jeans for playing with the girls. We weren’t sure of the size so I needed to try them on. I did step into the booth somewhat hidden by the table with jeans on them, but something I wouldn’t do in the states. Actually, I didn’t feel too out of place since it is quite normal here to do that. While I was changing, there were others coming up to the table looking for jeans and paid me no attention. Just another unique experience while here, one of many.

Another observation and then off to bed with me since it’s late. It’s all too common to see kids running around without any adults around, many by themselves. When I say kids, I’m talking about 7 years and up (maybe even younger but I’m being conservative). They are going about their business as is everyone else. With all the hype in the US, this would be considered child endangerment but it’s very passй here. Both girls and boys are dressed well. Boys as well as men wear their hair short and girls like their hair long, usually braided. Women wear both long and short hair here, all well kept. Our girls hair is getting long which makes me happy as I like long hair. I talked Virginia into letting her hair grow our and it’s beautiful.

Virginia is waiting for me to go to bed so I’m off. I’ll work some photos for posting before I go to sleep. I hope I can get them posted tomorrow. Not much new since we’ve fallen into this routine.

From a little town out of Yalta,

Chris and Virginia.

Short update

2008-11-05T02:13:00.000-08:00

5 Nov 2008

I'm behind again so I'll do a longer detailed post when next I can visit the Internet Cafe.

We still don't have a court date. The gatekeeper to the judges will not allow anyone, including other contacts and facilitators to see a judge. She'll contact Irina this week but told Irina not to call her till next week. Our papers are in Kiev and should be ready for court this week; we hope we can get an early court date next week. We've been in this process now for 2 weeks and thought the people are helpful, they do things on their own timetable. No white envelopes helping here. Our driver has contacts as well and he was shut down just as we were. The 10 day wait period is almost never waived here so we aren't holding our breaths for that, but I really want to try for the waiver. We've been with the girls now for 2 weeks going on three once we have court so I hope the judge takes that into account.

As for names and pictures, we will be waiting until after the wait period. Once I explain, it will all become clear, but that's for later.

Our spirits are up though Virginia really wants to be home. I want this part of the process over so we can move forward. We're bonding well and the longer we stay here, the tougher it gets. The honeymoon is over but the girls still are not ours so it's hard to start parenting with the current situation. We do what we can, but our hands are tied and there are still so many influences here that get in the way.

Gotta run so cheers for now.

Chris

1 Nov - 2 Nov Update

2008-11-05T02:10:00.000-08:00

1 Nov 2008

We picked up the girls at 9am to have breakfast with us before we headed for Yalta. Another beautiful day on the Black Sea, sunny and warm. We had to make the girls take a sweater because they thought it was too warm to wear them, and it was; they were carried most of the day. Virginia and Irina took the girls to get jackets and some more socks and I went to the Internet cafй to post yesterday’s blog.

It’s too expensive to take a cab to and from Yalta all the time so we took the bus today. It cost us 18 rph ($2.50) for four of us to go to Yalta and it’s about a 40 minute ride; not too bad for the price. The girls were busy identifying places they’ve been along the way. I guess they weren’t restricted to home their entire lives. They travel well and behave themselves.

Actually, I think we are definitely in a honeymoon period as they are still watching their own behavior. We’ve had them many days for all day and they still haven’t had a fight. For sisters living together I find this either incredibly amazing or more likely on their best behavior. We’ve seen them when they are tired and they still haven’t been at each other. Oh, sure they pick on each other a little, but nothing dramatic. Not sure how long this will last, but we’ll take as much of it as we can. They’re pretty comfortable with us now so I would assume we should start seeing some behaviors from them. The younger one will keep us busy trying to keep up with her, but nothing out of the ordinary for girls their age. The older one has her “stuff” together and helps keep her younger sister in line. It appears it’s been this way for quite some time.
One of the older ones friends met us when we picked them up this morning. She brought a few candies with her and gave them to the older one to give to us. (Note: I hope we get fast court date because I’m tired of having to write older or younger one all the time.) We bought some candy for the girls to give to their friends. Each day we take them back or pick them up, it’s hard to not take some of the others with us. It breaks our hearts seeing these kids there and their prospects are rather slim. We’re only the second family this school year to adopt so it’s not a regular one. The last family was Italian so a lot of the kids like to say Ciao. We also gave some beanie babies to the girls for their special friends. They’ll have several opportunities to give these to their special friends.

We did get a good laugh in today. Earlier, they asked Irina if all the games and such in our flat are going to stay with the school when we all leave. Irina said yes and then they asked if there were any more games where they were going. It seems that they thought all the games we have were there and there wasn’t any back home. Irina told them that there were plenty of games at home that they will be able to play with and they gave a sigh of relief. It’s sad to think that they would think this, their world is definitely smaller than those reading this.

It still amazes me how much these kids share with so little to call their own. They like to share with each other as well as with us. The older one has some insight into bonding and is always sharing her food with us. She’ll offer up her last bite, sweets, meat, it doesn’t matter. We’ve gotten to the point where we are sharing all our foods and drinks. Neither of them tries to hog the food. It’s getting to the point where we feel like we’ve been a family for quite awhile. It all seems too good to be true but God put these girls in our hands and us in theirs so we feel it’s meant to be. Virginia and I waited 10 years for the “other shoe to fall” because things were just too good between us for it to be real and after 18 years it’s still all good. We’re not going to count on the “shoe to fall” since we both feel this is right.

The girls keep asking when they are leaving and coming home with us. Unfortunately, we can’t say for sure and the last post has the projected time.

Tonight, we got invited to go to a wedding tomorrow. All of us are invited and quite excited to see this first hand. The girls don’t know about it yet but they’ll find our first thing in the morning. I hope I can get some nice pictures of the wedding and the girls all decked out for this.
This was supposed to be a short post since today was a rather uneventful day (compared with the others). Until tomorrow.

2 Nov 2008

Today is the last day of the girls fall break. We’ve fallen into a pattern of picking up the girls in the morning, having something to eat and then doing something for the day. Today, we went to a wedding and then to a local land mark (Palace).

The wedding was of close friends of our landlady and was held in a Russian Orthodox church. The ceremony had many elements of familiar symbolism that I’ve seen before, though not sure where. It was a small ceremony, quite solemn for a wedding and very interesting to see. We feel privileged and thankful to have been a part of the ceremony. At the end, the priest blessed our adoption.

Since Papi wasn’t feeling good, I stayed in our flat while all the girls went to a palace and park for the day. I guess the girls have finally felt comfortable around Virginia and Irina that they finally started acting like I would have expected. They’ve spent so much time together that I could see it building for several days, but I wasn’t there when it finally came forth. The girls got into a fight with each other and were cranky most of the afternoon. I didn’t see any of this and they watched their P’s and Q’s when they finally got home to where Papi is. I don’t know if they’re still on their guard with me or whether it’s a cultural thing. Virginia had to tell me all about it and I could see their tiredness and restlessness.

They are now at the point of testing the boundaries which is what I’ve been waiting for. I wasn’t sure when it was going to happen but now is as good as any. I feel this is the beginning of us fitting in together as a whole family and they will learn the roles each of us plays. They are already trying to go around one of us to the other when we say no but we are united and stand together. They grumble a bit then move on. This is progress and they’ll learn that what one says, the other will back up. Today was the roughest so far and I expect there to be many more when all they have is us and themselves without all these other distractions.

Tomorrow we’ll be heading into Yalta while the girls are in school. We have a few things we want to shop for and Irina is going to try and speak with our Judge and get a court date. It’s hard to believe that tomorrow (Nov 3) we’ll been in this process for 2 weeks and we still don’t have a court date. Irina keeps us posted whenever she knows something and I can tell you that it’s not the fault of our team. This region is hard and probably a bit harder right now with world affairs being what they are. Crimea is Russian by their standards, need I say more.

31Oct Update

2008-11-01T02:41:00.000-07:00

31 Oct 2008

Today was another wonderful day spent with the girls. We’ve now spent 1 week, nearly all day every day with the girls and it’s going great. They are still on their guest behavior but are defiantly feeling comfortable with us as we are with them. It’s hard to think that we, as well as them, were so nervous when we met them for the first time. We already feel like a family and our time together is quite natural. I can also tell you we are acting like proud parents and think they are the most wonderful girls we could have hoped to get. Laura, if the offer for Annabelle still stands, we’ll take her also as she’d fit right in (inside family joke).

Today was a leisurely day for us. We picked up the girls and walked to the local store for some supplies. It only takes about 5 minutes to get from the school to our flat so we were home by 11am. We had them work in some grade appropriate math books so I can get an idea as to where they’re at; I still need to work with them to really find out. When we handed them the books, they just dove in and started working on their own for quite some time. We also picked up some books on learning English and show’s them how to make letters and such.

We watched “Emperors New Groove” in Russian. Since this is one of our favorites, we were able to follow along. Speaking of movies, these are not pirated, have the Disney seals and were from a video store and were only 10 Dollars each. We’re headed back to Yalta tomorrow and I’m going to pick up some more movies for that price. We brought some of our movies along but don’t hold the girls attention when there is a lot of talking. We fully understand. These movies are region 5 so since I don’t have a hack for my computer DVD player, I use a program to copy the DVD to my hard drive, another program to remove the region code and then we can watch these with a DVD player on the computer. Works great and I don’t have to have the DVD in the drive to watch them.

Today was a milestone day for me. While watching the movie, the older one sat next to me and snuggle up with me. What a wonderful feeling. They’re bonding with Virginia very quickly and just slower with me. The culture here is different (duh!) and I believe they were close to their mother and not so much to their step father. I haven’t trust myself at them and figure they will come around in their own time. I always showed them small signs of affection like putting my hand briefly on their shoulder or kissing them on the head. After a couple of days, they quit pulling away and accepted these gestures of affection. Of course I would want my hug on greetings and goodbye’s, but those are expected by both parties. My biggest fear was a severe case of Reactive Attachment Disorder but I can say that these girls have no signs of it and are already attaching, strongly. They are no longer overtly worried about their peers stealing us. The younger one which had a larger issue about this asked us if she could bring her friend to our flat and play. As much as we would’ve liked to, it’s prohibited. We felt bad for the little girl who probably didn’t understand why she couldn’t come along. I no longer worry about any bonding issues with these girls as we’ll all strongly bond; that I have no doubt.

We played a few games here in the flat. Twister was a challenge at first since we didn’t know the words for right and left; hand and foot were easy to find out. It’s quite interesting trying to communicate rules when you can’t even say right or left. We have plenty of music on the laptop so they love to dance and horse around while it’s playing. We feel the younger one will always be young at heart and reminds me so much of my youngest niece. She loves to play rough and is always laughing. I have this one picture of her and Virginia together (the older was being the dedicated photographer as was I) on the waterfront in Yalta. They were playing model for us and the younger one busted herself up with her antics. When she goes into a full blown laugh, her eyes are close and she has an ear-to-ear grin; she laughs with her whole face. Every time we see the picture, it crack us up. The older one doesn’t play nearly as rough and not very often. She prefers to make up Virginia or herself or to play calmly (much like my nieces her age). We’ll have our hands full with these two, but in a good way.

Our paperwork is also moving forward. Irina was in Yalta all day waiting for the conclusion to be signed. I guess there is no mayor in Yalta right now so the standin has to sign the paperwork. At first he wasn’t going to since he doesn’t know anything about these matters and was going to make us wait until Dec. 7th for the newly elected official to sign. ARGHH!! But he relented and yesterday Irina came home with the signed documents. She also applied to the court and hopefully get our court date on Monday. As mentioned before, this area is difficult so we don’t expect to get a court hearing until the following Monday. Our return tickets were originally booked for Dec. 9th and it looks like we just might make it if we only encounter small glitches. These are all if’s.

Back to Yalta on Saturday with the girls. Irina needs to mail the documents to Kiev and she found jackets for 100rgh ($20).

On many travel blogs, I read where the prospective parents were glad they brought lots of books and movies to kill the boredom of waiting. We may have had paperwork/officials problems, but we haven’t had any time to read of watch our movies. Last night, we went to be by 9pm because both of us were wore out. I usually have to sneak in some time for these updates because we are so busy. We’ve been blessed in our process because we get to spend so much time with our girls and thankfully it doesn’t look like it’ll slow any. Their normal school resumes on Monday so we will have time during the day till about 3pm when their classes end. Maybe only then will be have time for these things, but I just as soon have the girls and be all worn out instead.

We think we may have to build a playground in our back yard. They love the seesaw and swings not to mention the big spinning thing. They may look old (which they are) and decrepit, but they are built solidly and are holding out just fine. Virginia and I play most times on this gear with the girls. You should see the looks we get from the locals as though we must be insane to play like that. I’ve yet to see any fathers actually engaging their children in play so I’m thinking it’s another one of those cultural things; but that’s not going to stop us from playing with the girls because we’re just having too much fun.

It’s going to feel wonderful to hear children’s laughter in the house again. The only time we heard this was when Virginia’s brothers family visited (they have younger kids) and it always made me feel like it was a home. When they left, it always got quiet again and I went through withdrawals afterward (I came from a large, noisy family). I can’t wait to hear it again with our girls and especially when we ALL get together there again. Some of you may say it’ll get old for me, but I never tire of the sound of laughter. There’s truth in the saying “Laughter is good medicine”. It’s good for the heart and soul. Just think of how good you felt after a good laugh and think what a better place the world would be if people laughed a lot more. I don’t think I’ve heard any laugher on the streets here and that is SAD!

Virginia’s input:

Although I don’t now the name of most of the food items as they are written, I have tried many things and enjoyed them all. I worry that the tastiness of much of the things I have eaten might have long term consequences (weight gain), but our companion Irena tells me that we are so busy and active that not a chance. All the people we have had to deal with directly in regards to the adoption have been very helpful. Some things are slower and harder in this region for adoption, but it is the nature here. The girls are bonding well with us and vice-versa. They were on fall break this last week and contrary to usual practices at our stage of the process we were permitted to take them on outings off property for the day, each day. This has definitely put us further along in respects to bonding with each other. We have also been quite fortunate that they weather here in Crimea has been extraordinarily warm and sunny. We have gone into Yalta many days with no jacket on and just a light sweater, shed half way through the day. We don’t expect this may last much longer, but will take it for as long as it lasts. Chris even had to buy a couple of short sleeve shirts to wear, hard to find this time of year. It was + 28 Celsius yesterday and our landlady’s mother was going for a swim in the ocean, (the water is pretty warm it was + 17 Celsius yesterday), and the ocean is perhaps a ten minute or so walk from here, (rough life, I know).

Cheers for now so I can finish getting ready for Yalta to post this.

Chris and Virginia

Note: The girls are 9 and 10. FYI for those about to travel, the dollar got as high as 7:1 the other day and is hovering around 6 right now.

30 Oct Update

2008-10-30T01:32:00.000-07:00

First, Happy Birthday John.

I didn't expect to be posting today so I didn't prepare any more photos. I posted a link to the right for where the photos are and here is the link: http://www.pbase.com/higgmeister/adoption

Thank you MamaPoRuski for the insight.

We are waiting for the Mayor of Yalta to sign the conclusion so we can apply to the court for our hearing. We're hoping it's this morning but I'm not holding my breath. Irina showed us how to get into Yalta on the bus from our small town. It's larger than a village by my standards and would call it a small town of about 8K +- people. We haven't had an opportunity to check out this town yet.

As mentioned before, this region is beautiful with high mountains on the North strongly sloping to the sea to the South. Our flat is on the North most side of the town so it's a walk to reach the beach which we'll explore once the girls are off fall break. Our bedroom window looks into the forrest with a stream flowing gently below the house. It's quiet except for all the animals and leaves rustling. It's a bit rustic for most but we are fine with the conditions. The stove is outside because these flats are mostly used during the summer tourist season. This morning, I awoke to see a dark blue sky behind a golden crown of mountains shimmering through the trees. I'm glad we moved and Virginia will be glad too once we remove all the spiders in the flat (she's arachniphobic (sp)).

We feel very lucky, not paperwork wise, but people wise. The director in charge of the orphans and the helpers like us so we've had opportunities that I'v not read about with other families. Other than the first meeting, we've been able to spend plenty of time with our girls. Last Friday was the end of school for a week so on Saturday, we were able to pick up the girls and take them to Yalta for the day. Same with Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. Now that we are here, they allow the girls to come over to our flat so we can play, eat or whatever. We're nearly done shopping for the girls and have most of what we will need for them while here. For those who've adopted from Ukraine know, a family usually can't get the kids off the grounds until after the court hearing and only then with a representative. The paperwork may be going slower than anticipated, but the bonding is happening really quickly because we spend so much time with them. They now only call us Mama and Papa/i and Irina is Ira, not Mama any more.

Yesterday, we did several things at our flat. One was to show the older one (almost user her name, oops) how to spell her name in our latin alphabet which she did as well as Mama and Papa. She drew our family and made some comments. What a sweetheart. She wants so much to learn and is like a sponge. Actually, both are like sponges. I'll humm a diddy to myself and next thing I know I'm hearing it back from them. The younger one is very curious about everything and is always asking Irina questions about whatever, almost as though she likes hearing herself. Typical girl...:). The other thing we did was view some of the pictures the girls had taken. They remember who took what and where so it reiforced those memories they created. I feel that when they view these pictues in the future, they will hold positive memories.

I must also once again apologize for my bad spelling. Virginia usually proofs my work but her and Irina are out shopping for groceries and whatever they shop for.

I could keep typing but I must check my business email since I haven't had time to lately. The ladies get impatient with me regarding posting. They have no idea as to why it takes so long to post and check email. Then, they've never worked on these systems before either.

Cheers for now,

Chris and Virginia

29Oct update

2008-10-29T01:33:00.000-07:00

I've posted new pictues of Yalta and some more of Kiev. Hopfully I can post some pictures of the girls by the end of next week. I will make a special trip if I have to so I can post and update. I've already taken a few hundred pixs and the girls are at about 200 themselves.

Paperwork is starting to move but there is not definate end in sight. We are guestimating 3-4 weeks still but could be less. In Ukraine, the only certain thing is uncertainty itself.

We move in a few hours so it's time for me to sign out. We're loving all the positive thoughts coming though and enjoy reading your comments. Virginia is ready to come home right now but there is so much more for me to learn about this place. We'll make the best of our stay.

We haven't been able to find a battery for Virginia's phone is if you need to message us, use my phone.

Cheers and miss you all. Actually, wish you all could be here :)

27-28 Oct Update

2008-10-29T01:03:00.000-07:00

27Oct2008

No paperwork action today since it’s fall break and the principle is out. Maybe tomorrow. The one advantage of this is we get the girls all day again to our delight. Update on paperwork. We did need to go to the Notary at 9am for some paperwork. They told us they couldn’t find 3 pieces including both copies of the girl’s birth certificates. Also, most everyone was out sick so it was looking grim but they came through and we got our papers.

We did a bit of shopping today for the girls. We picked up a top each and an over-sweater type thing. We are trying to spread out the purchases so we have something to get them every few days. This is all stuff they will need since they will not leave with anything from the school; that includes the cloths. We haven’t been told this but it’s usual practice since most of the cloths are community property.

We spent most of the day in the apartment playing games and just having fun. We found out that the kids at this school watch a fair bit of TV. A benefactor donated a large screen TV so they all like to watch it. We’ve been trying to keep the TV to a minimum and spend time together instead.

While out shopping, the girls asked who was cooking tonight and Irina said I was. The older one chucked and didn’t did Papa had it in him to cook anything. Actually, I was only cooking the appetizer and Virginia was cooking spaghetti carbinara (sp.). I sautйed mushrooms in butter and garlic and then melted cheese in the mushroom bowl. Not much left of either dish and they were impressed that Papa could use a knife. Irina remarked that the girls have been taught to cook amongst other things which leads her to believe the Mother took car of her children. I would love to believe that. We won’t know for sure till they open up with us.

The other night I was washing dishes after others made the meal. The girls asked if I always did the dishes and we explained that Virginia and I share the duties around the house (they will have to as well). When these girls get older, if the boys make it past my shotgun, then they’ll be in for a surprise because our girls will expect much from them.

The language progress is coming along slowly. I think I’m learning more Russian than they are English…for now. They are a little scared about the language problem and we are trying not to scare them too much. We use an English phrase or word and follow it by the Russian term. They are catching on. I think their favorite phrase is “Let’s go”. They know exactly what it means. We wanted to spend some time on the Alphabet but couldn’t find enough time to fit it in.
Some of the pictures just updated contain some women’s fashion shots as requested. Kiev is much more fashionable than here in Yalta. Kiev is pretty much Ukrainian and Yalta is pretty much Russian. Most of the people we’ve talked to..OK, everyone we’ve talked to here claims to be Russian, not Ukrainian and wants to be a part of Russia.

28Oct2008

Hurray, we have movement on our paperwork. The principle called in sick so the paperwork was done by someone else, I guess. There are so many confusing twists to this adoption that I can’t keep track, but who cares when the process is finally moving forward. The children and school paperwork make it to the inspector’s office today so they can write the conclusion. With that and some more paperwork from the school, we can send it to Kiev. It’ll still be later this week before that happens. Seems that is no direct route for paperwork to Kiev from here so Irina is finding out the best way to get the docs to Kiev. If things flowed perfectly, court is still more than a week away so we’ll be here for quite a spell (20 or so days +-). Then we have to wait for passports before we can go to Kiev so maybe early to mid December we can be on a plane.

And, we had the girls again today. They don’t share shoes so we went ahead and bought them new shoes, socks and stockings. Their shoes were either falling apart or were way too big for their feet. This family thing is going to get expensive because they need new of everything. For the most part, they are good about not wanting everything they see. We buy some small things and not others, but the buying will need to stop for awhile since the money burn rate is rather high. Irina is helping us keep the costs down but it still costs a fair bit for these things.
Tomorrow we move into a flat near the school. We’ll lose our cloths washer so it’ll be done by hand. We should be able to see the girls on a more regular basis (though we’ve seen them every day for the max time) and they should be able to eat in the evenings with us. We can have them bathe more often and start working on better hygiene like clean socks every day, or every few days, or even once a week. New shoes, clean socks and feet should keep some of the French Perfume down to a minimum.

We can’t wait to post some pictures of them after court. The older one is a little camera shy but I’m working on that. I got some really good pictures of her today and I seem to always get good pictures of the younger one. It usually take me at least 1 hour in the evenings to look at the pictures and transfer them to the computer. I have my DSlr I use and sometimes let the girls use. I brought another digital camera for Virginia, but the girls use it and they also love to use Virginia’s cell phone. We’re letting them use the cameras so they can record what they see and will remember. We’re having a good time with it and they are getting some really wonderful pictures. They put their hands together and open them like a clam to tell us they want to use Virginia’s flip phone. The younger one will make camera click sounds to tell us she want to use the other digital camera. It’s quite effective at getting their points across.

Speaking of language, both are doing a little better. The older one will have no problem with language and want to go to school ASAP when we get back. The younger one has the cutest accent which is quite thick and endearing. I’m thinking she’ll learn much from her older sister, language wise. On the ride from Yalta to the school, I worked with the older one on please, thank you and you’re welcome. She knew the first two but not the last. Russian has the same word for please and you’re welcome so I had to convey this in English. I handed her my pocket knife and motioned for her to give it to me. When she did, I said “Thank You” and followed it with the Russian. When she repeated what I said I knew she didn’t understand so we did it again. This time she didn’t repeat what I said and then made it understood about “Your Welcome”. #3’s the charm because she understood about this communication transaction and even said “Your Welcome” when appropriate. “Your Welcome” is a pretty large word to start out on but she’s sharp…they both are.

Jerry, could you email us a picture of Virginia when she was young. You have some from the disk you made about your Mom.

There’s an uncanny resemblance between the girls and Virginia when Virginia was young. The school admin even commented that Virginia looks a lot like them. Virginia is European by birth and Mother so this makes sense.

****Note: Virginia’s phone has died a painless death. It seems to have died in it’s sleep so she will not be able to receive any more text messages. We can’t get this thing to charge at all, even from various different chargers. We’ll see if we can breathe some life into it by replacing the battery if we can find one.

I have no idea if there is any Internet connectivity or cafй in the village we are off to. If not, it may be awhile before we can update again. I’m hoping they have something. Also, for those waiting to travel and intend on bringing a laptop, make sure you have a very good antivirus always running. I use a USB drive to upload these updates and pictures. I don’t write to the stick but always come back with several viruses/trogons on it.

Last post from Yalta…Cheers

Chris and Virginia

Almost feels like we’re heading into a black hole or something. It’s really not that bad here, actually it’s very nice and we’re enjoying ourselves. It’s a major tourist destination and quite beautiful so we’re not complaining.

26 Oct Update

2008-10-27T03:36:00.000-07:00

26Oct2008

We had the girls again all day and had a blast. We decided to do some touristy stuff. The highest peak in Crimea is just outside of Yalta which has a cable car from bottom to the top. We had our driver take us to the top with a few stops along the way. Most stops were unplanned because the older one was getting car sick. The roads are windey, rough and these drivers think they’re in a rally race (Moose, they run a rally each year from top to bottom; check it out).

We stopped at a Tartar village on the way up to eat some real kabob. We had meat, rice, mountain tea, vegetables and local bread. Talk about good eats!! We got a few pictures of all the girls on horses. I think we are making some wonderful memories of the girls home for them to keep close to their heart since this is their first home. We finished the trip to the top and did quite a hike to reach the peak where we got some wonderful pictures. I was even able to take a few aerial shots of the town where their school is. The girls did some shopping and I tagged along looking for picture opportunities. We then took the cable car down to the bottom; all this taking most of the day.

When we got to the apartment, the girls played some cards and then they all made a salad that they make in the school. Both girls like to help in the kitchen and know how to prepare some dishes. They cut the meat, pealed cooked carrots and sliced them (I panicked each time they were using knives but it’s normal for them at their age). They did much of the preparing and did much of the eating. The salad was scrumptious and we all ate plenty of it. What should have easily fed 6 people fed the 4 of us with just a tiny bit left over.

We played for the next hour before we had to take them back. We’ve been lucky in that we were able to have the girls all day for the last two days. We’re still trying to get the paperwork from the school principle to we can get this process going. We can’t do anything till the principle does her part; then we can apply to the court for a hearing and get the paperwork to the SDA. Until then, we’ve been waiting for a week without any paperwork progress. Our team can’t do anything till the principle does hers. The gal in charge of the orphans has wanted us to get the paperwork last week so we go move forward, but she doesn’t have the power to do that since the principle has to sign it.

If anyone wants to know more about the area, just ask and I can give descriptions of what I’ve seen. This place isn’t as fashionable as Kiev. Not nearly as many short skirts and spiked heals. These streets plus spiked heals = broken shoe or busted leg. It can be hard enough in flat shoes to walk around here.

I did record the girls talking and playing and even made a short movie of them playing a card game. We also worked on their names. In the end, they decided to keep their original names and we gave them American middle names. The older one picked Angela and the younger one picked Cassandra. Gotta run so I can post this before they get back from picking up the girls (it’s Monday morning so I’ll have to catch up today tomorrow). I’ll have to get some pictures formatted and get them posted tomorrow since I don’t know if there’s any place in the village for Internet access.

Signing off from Yalta for now J.

25Oct Update

2008-10-27T03:33:00.000-07:00

25Oct2008

We made a decision to vacate Yalta on Wednesday…Just so we can move into the village and be closer to the girls. We have a place right across the street from the school and the owner is a worker there. What this means is that the girls will be able to stay with us on the weekends and we’ll have much more time with them. We won’t have to commute each day from Yalta, but when there is paperwork to be done we’ll have to travel there. Not a problem and it’ll probably save money in the end. Though the Internet is rare, but we did find one here in Yalta, it may be even sparser in the village. We’ll have to explore some.

We had the girls all day today. They allowed us to take them from the school until late evening (up to 8pm if we fed them at least twice, NP). When asked where they wanted to go, they said Yalta in synchronous. When we arrived at the school, all the children were working outside cleaning the drives, whitewashing the walls and general cleaning. They make their own brooms from branches from local trees. It seems to work pretty well from what I could see.

The Taxi dropped us off along the ocean front. The younger one got Virginia’s cell phone camera and I introduced the older one to a real digital camera. They are both sharp as a tack which I think I mentioned before. I showed them once how to use the camera, how to view the pictures just taken and how to delete a photo they don’t want. Only once and they were good to go. The menus are in English but that didn’t slow them down and they’ve even found a shortcut that we didn’t know about. They are teaching me some Russian and we’re teaching them some English. Until further in the process, we’re not going to push the English until after court. (I felt strongly when I first saw their dossier and still feel the same that God meant us to have these girls. We both understand why we had all the previous problems; it’s because these girls were not ready.).

They wanted to go to McDonalds even though they had never eaten it before. Neither the translator (Irina) nor us had any intention on eating at Mc’s but the girls convinced us otherwise. I’m glad we went because I know I won’t have to worry about them with Mc’s later; they said the food at school was better then Mc’s. We’re so happy. The Mc’s is very similar to ours but there’s a slight difference which I attribute to the bun (I had a Big Mac) which was flatter with less taste. My curiosity has been satiated and I have no need to ever eat Mc’s anywhere else in the world let alone the US.

We spent the day coloring, stickers and the girls (including the big ones) doing hair and makeup. They watched a little TV and I got the Russian laptop keyboard working properly. They can spell so I have them spell the word and I enter it into a bidirectional dictionary. I oopsed and brought our Ukrainian phrase/dictionary book and left the Russian one so this is what I have.
While we played, Irina went shopping for dinner and the ladies all made dinner together while I worked on my Russian. The dinner was all local fare and was scrumptious. We had two types of sausage, mashed potatoes and three types of salad. I pigged out but wasn’t the only one. The older one takes her time and eats deliberately like all things she does. The younger one devoured her dinner and many more helpings. Virginia is one of the fastest eaters I’ve ever seen (or not seen), but the younger one is going to give her a run for her money. They eat similarly, 3-4 chews and then swallow it. I can’t see how they can even taste their food. They’re not finicky eaters though; they like meat, fruit, vegetables and even drink water.

A little more about the girls.

The older one is methodical, calculating and observant. It takes her a bit longer to try something but then it’s usually done correctly the first time. She’s not slow, just more calculating. When they were learning our last name, the younger one was going at it brute force, over and over till she got it. The older one waited and listened. When she was ready to say it, it barley had any accent pronounced perfectly (Slavic adults have a hard time with pronouncing our familial name). She’s more cautious than her sister about most things. She is our thinker; in this respect much like her Mama to be. She is a girly-girl (Annabelle’s age) X10 and is absolutely fascinated by Virginia’s nails. Sharing with others is always on the top of her list. She is also a mother hen type always trying to take care of everyone else especially her sister. No doubt she looked after her sister when things were tough at home. It appears she is already bonding with Virginia and has really taken to her; she cuddles to Virginia on a regular, unprompted basis. Reading and spelling are already grade level from next to nothing before entering the orphanage not that long ago and she likes to read. Our translator mentioned that she speaks in full, grammatically correct sentences without the usual shortcuts which impressed Irina. I suspect language will not be a problem for her.

The younger one is spontaneous, adventurous and fearless. I forgot to mention funny as she’s going to be the class clown, that’s for sure. She’s almost a complete opposite of her sister in many respects. When learning our familial name, she tries it one way, then another till she gets it. In this way, she is like her Papa to be. She’s not afraid to try and jumps in with both feet. Her accent is absolutely adorable and it’ll be a shame when she looses it. It was agreed that they would help us learn Russian which she is taking to heart with me. She is always giving me the correct pronunciation of my butchered Russian. Her name for me is Papi (Poppy in like the poppy seed) instead of Papa and I hope she never stops calling me that. Like her sister, she mostly hangs with Virginia but is not a girly-girl. (Connie, she’s older than you by one day and much the same as you, both of you should get along great.) She can read but I haven’t seen her try to write anything. She’s most always ready with a smile which is very contagious for all of us.
They are both girls and like to do girl things like shopping. I’ve already had to play the heavy and said "Nyet" to several things. They didn’t get very mad but did go to Virginia on the next want. Speaking for myself, I’m bonding quickly to these girls and I firmly believe Virginia is too. I also feel the girls are bonding to us as well. Moose (my teenage nephew), you’re going to be puddy in their hands; you are so ill prepared for their girly ways.

It’s really late but I wanted to get caught up. Tomorrow we have the girls from 10-7 again and looking forward to it. Time for me to go pass out now as I’ve had a busy day; everyone else has been out for hours now. I’ll usually pass the last few minutes of consciousness looking at a picture of the four of us, very reassuring. Now to just get them officially and that will make our decade.

21Oct - 24Oct update

2008-10-27T03:29:00.000-07:00

Much of the following is written in hindsight since I haven’t had Internet access to update. It’s more to create a log and update the followers. I’m trying to recall the events since it’s already the 25th.

21Oct08

Not much to report. We had to wait all day for the paperwork from the SDA. We decided to fly to Simferopol to try and get the process going quickly. Also, it just might mean that we could possibly have the paperwork for the court date in Kiev by Friday.

The flight from Kiev to Simferopol was uneventful and took 2 hours. They offered us a hard candy before flight and we didn’t see another attendant until we landed. Of course they went through the standard seatbelt thing and if we go down, you’re not going to make it. OK, not quite that bad, but the jet was older and creaked a lot. The seats were very tight but we survived…I think…Yep, we did.

After flying to Simferopol, we had to find a reasonable hotel at 11pm. We tried two hotels and they were either expensive or didn’t have any hot water. The third one verified that they had hot water so we stayed there the night. Not as pricey as Kiev, but we had a long way to go and didn’t want to waste our money so early on.

I took lots of pictures of one of the churches in downtown and got a few fashion shots as well. Just have to find a system to post them from now. Some Internet cafés will allow you to connect your system, just not if you have Vista. Guess the word has even made it over here.

22Oct08

The drive from Simferopol to Yalta was beautiful. The season is changing and the trees are in full color. The drive is over a mountain chain and took 2 hours. The temp go to 2 Celsius on the way over some passes and only averaged 9 C while traveling through the mountains.

Yalta is a beautiful little city of about 300K nested between the Black Sea on the south and mountainous cliffs surrounding the city. I can see why many people want to come here to see the sights; I’ll want to come back and visit some day. They have a small port that takes small cruise liners which were coming in. OK, I know this isn’t why your reading the blog so I’ll get to the adoption process.

We visited the inspector first thing in the morning and they were running late so we waited. Then we waited some more. Did I mention that we waited but more on that later. We did speak to an inspector but there was only two on duty (others were either sick, vacation, or just didn’t show up) so we waited some more because an inspector is supposed to go to the orphanage with you on your first visit to meet the child/ren. So, did I mention that we waited and waited some more. We were there at 8:30 am and finally got to visit the orphanage after 3pm. And then we waited…just kidding. We spoke with the school principle, doctor and others. I’d be more specific but there could be some hiccups here so mums the word for now. No info on where or whom until later.

We did visit two older girls. They’re quiet, polite and cute as a button and definitely sisters. We brought some Kinder Surprises and a few other chocolates for the adults (all were eaten before we left). After talking will all but the children’s teachers, the girls took us on a tour of the playground and surrounding area. They were playful and friendly. I did think that their eyes were going to bug out when I climbed up on some of their bars to play. They looked at me on the bars, looked at each other, giggled and kept playing. (Note: I may have to grow old, but that doesn’t mean I have to grow up). We had roughly an hour to spend with them and we did just that. Later we learned that we made a very positive impression on all concerned, even the girls.
The one thing I can tell you is that the inspector that helped us is going on study starting Monday so the only person that can sight the conclusion is the Mayor of Yalta. This may be a problem. But then, this is why we have facilitators and hope he can work some magic through the SDA or wherever. But if there is no one, then there is no one. We’re not sure how long this will slow the process but it could add another week or so. But this isn’t the whole story…

23Oct2008

Now, the rest of the story…
The school principle will not give her consent for 10 days, OUCH! That's official policy here and she wasn’t in the mood to negotiate. Our facilitator got the SDA involved and now it may be less, but definitely not this week. Hmmm, add a few more days to the process.

We got to visit the girls again. We brought them a large pear, some grapes and dried apricot. They shared the pear and ate some grapes. I’m not sure they knew what the dried apricots were and don’t think they even tried them. Then again, it was a huge pear.

We brought some Playdough and a friendship bracelet craft book with us. We played with the Playdough for awhile outside since it was warm and clear. We then went inside to view a picture book we made and make some bracelets. All was going well until some other children came into the room and became curious about us and what the girls had. Their mood immediately changed and they wanted to get out of there. We weren’t exactly sure what was going on but got the message. We wrapped up the day a little earlier than we had to but had a good visit just the same. It appeared that the girls were being possessive of our time and didn’t want to share us; fully understandable.

24Oct2008

We’re only allowed to visit the girls after 3pm because of class and only until 5pm so they have time for their homework. It’s not much time be we all try to make the best of it. Today we didn’t bring any other toys since Virginia played the softy and let them keep the goods from the previous day. I wasn’t going to leave them so that way we had them to use on another day. It turns out that this isn’t a problem there.

We took a walk and we gave them some Oreo cookies and pineapple juice. You would think that they would devour them but were pleasantly surprised. The older one offered her first cookie to Virginia and the second one to me. The younger girl saved two cookies, unbeknownst to us, until the end of our visit and shared them with us. I’ll go out on a limb and say they either have hearts of gold or know how to work us already. Either way, they’re doing a great job.

The girls wanted to play outside instead of inside so off to a playground we went. You’ll see this playground in pictures when I post the girls. The equipment is old and pretty dilapidated, but not so much that they couldn’t be used. Virginia and I even got on some of them and didn’t worry about our lives.

Of course language can be a problem, but not so much that we can’t communicate. It took a few tries before the girls ended up on the same side of the teeter-totter and I on the other side. We had the girls howling with laughter; it was the greatest thing to them. Then I didn’t just go up and down but would stop quickly half way and change directions when they weren’t expecting it. Up until then, we hadn’t heard them laugh. Plenty of smiles but no laughter. That’s all changed now. We played together on several other pieces of equipment and loved it.

By now, they had discovered Virginia’s cell phone camera. Oh my goodness!! The older girl would pose us or her sister, compose the shot with one knee on the ground for a different perspective. She looked like she was a professional photographer and actually does very well with picture taking. Guess she’ll need a camera of her own eventually. Both girls love taking pictures, especially of the wild kittens.

These girls are so gently with the kittens and they just love them. Whenever they see one, they have to go pick it up and cuddle it. Let’s not forget about the girls taking pictures of all these kittens. I prefer that they take lots of pictures because they’re old enough to remember this place and we hope their later memories won’t be bad memories.

There were some older children on the playground and some other younger boys. Everything was fine until….some of their peers, especially girls their own age showed up and they wanted to leave. I think that they know we’re interested in daughters and not sons so boys are not a threat as other girls are. We’ll play this game for awhile till they are more secure about us and we are more secure in the process.

They play a game here called knots. Several kids will all hold hands in a circle facing each other while one child stands away and doesn’t look. The children (in our case adults and child) will then move around, up and under other’s arms, to create a knot. The hands cannot be broken. The one out then has to figure out how to untangle the group without breaking any holds. It’s definitely harder than you think if you’ve never played it before.

We all had a good time. The girls called us Mama and Papa for the first time on the playground, probably because they didn’t remember our names. Just before leaving we were all standing around the taxi and having a good chat. The girls said that they wanted to be a part of our family and that feeling is mutual. We would love to get this process going so we can officially be a family sooner than later. They also mentioned that they want to take on American names which is kind of a bummer because they both have beautiful names. One of their names is actually one that we would have chosen to change it to if they had had an unacceptable name (for the U.S.). It’s a name that is a derivative of Virginia’s dearly departed Mom’s name. We need to see what the girls come up with.

Lastly, they even said they still had the toys we had left with them the previous day. As for the process, we’re still waiting. We have a Notary on Monday morning and still need everything else to get this process going.

One last thing. This area is known to have some problems with US adoptions. If the caretakers don’t like the parents to be, they’ll tell the children that we’re adopting them to sell their organs when we get to the states. You may laugh, but that’s enough for the children to decide they don’t want to be adopted and then the process stops. Luckily for us, everyone likes us.

Sorry for the long, long, long post. I had to play catch-up. There are two uses for this blog, only one of those being for you, the reader. The main reason is for a log of events in our journey to our daughters. And yes, we have found them. We can’t wait to post pictures and more info on the girls.

Yalta

2008-10-24T08:05:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note since I only have 5 minutes left to update.

We have visited two beautiful older girls outside of Yalta. I'll give more details and pictures of the girls after we have our court date. They are definitely healthy and on track; we couldn't be happier.

Yalta is beautiful but internet access is really hard to find. I'll give a longer update on another day when I have time to pretype it. This area is a difficult one so we are not really sure of how long we will be here. In a few days, we will move out of Yalta to a place near the girls. I reckon that if finding internet access here is tough, then it will be really tough when we are staying in the village.

Gotta run but hope to give a long update before we leave Yalta. This place is worth a visit if you are ever in the area.

Leaving Kiev

2008-10-21T03:15:00.000-07:00

We are done for now here in Kiev. We are going to fly to Simperfol this evening and be in region tomorrow; we hope to then meet the children. This region isn't an easy one for foreign adoption. They never waive the 10 days and passports take awhile. We'll see if we have inet access once we are in region.

We also wanted to say thanks for all the comments and suggestions, they truly are appreciated.

Appointment Time

2008-10-20T10:26:00.000-07:00

19Oct2008

12 Hours and Counting

Just under 12 hours till our appointment at the SDA. Only those that have been here know how this feels. The realization keeps peeking in its head every now and then. For Virginia, think the big moment will come during the appointment when we actually will meet our children on paper (today at the SDA). For me, it’s been sneaking in at various times, ie just as we were taxing down the runway, I became overpowered by good emotions. Though I’ve known all along that this was going to happen, it’s taken a long time and sometime despair rears hi ugly head. Now, there is no despair, no question as to if our kids are here. FYI, it’s now only 2 hours and counting; I fell asleep at the keyboard last night when I started this update.

We spent the day wandering old Kiev. This is a beautiful town with lots of old, ornate buildings. We finally walked through the underground mall so I could look for an adapter for our computer. It’s just another mall, just very high priced by Ukraine standards. I’m sure that will be our last mall visit till we have our children, then very limited with them if we do go. We walked past the presidents residence, Chimera house (see pictures when I can post them) and then down to the Dnipro river. It was a leisurely day.

They close the street down in front of Independence Square on the weekends for various events. We were walking along and Irina pointed out a large bronze horse and asked if I was going to get a picture while on it. I asked her twice if I would get arrested and she said no, so up I climbed onto the statue for a picture. She didn’t think that I was serious and that I would actually climb up there. It did draw a number of chuckles from the crowd. I wasn’t too worried because you could see where quite a few people had actually been up there before.

As I mentioned before, we mostly eat at these Ukrainian cafeteria style places and we’ve been trying nearly everything. We’ve enjoyed most of what we’ve tried with few exceptions. The price is always right as well. We’ve been eating out 2 meals a day and it’s costing us about $12US per meal. And, of course, my eyes are always larger than my stomach and I’ve been eating way too much but enjoying all the new flavors. For those liking American fare, there are lots of McDonalds around. TGIF’s is right in Independence Square and they have a Papa John’s pizza in the food court of the mall.

We met the other couple that is trying to get out of here. We hope their passport comes today so they can finish the process. We had a wonderful time with them. We took their adorable little boy down to a park by the river and let him play while we talked up a storm. It’s always a pleasure to finally meet the people that you’ve been in communication with. We hope they have a quick and safe return to home.

20Oct2008

I gotta stop this now so I can get ready for our appointment.

Were back from our appointment and we made a selection of siblings from the Crimea region that we are going to visit. I won’t say much so we don’t jinx the process, but we feel good. We were shown several sets of siblings, most were healthy and older. The gal helping us in the SDA was very nice and helpful. Though I’ve read lots of blogs on the process, I was surprised by the process. I expected that they would have pulled several files of children and we would have selected from those. Instead, we got there and explained what we were looking for and she went through the books pulling files as we talked. We liked the first set she showed us but wanted to look at more. It seemed that she continued to show us files until our hour was running out and then we had to pick from those that were pulled. We selected the first set of siblings we were shown. This is just an observation on our process and it may be different for many families.

We may be leaving either tomorrow (Tuesday) evening or Wednesday morning for region. We’ll then spend some time with the children before the final decision is made. We’ll give more information once we know that the process is going to go through.

We found out that the orphanage is in a village. We don’t know yet whether we’ll be staying there or in a nearby city and drive back and forth each day. What this means is that we may not have internet access for periods of time. As it is, we probably won’t have access after today for a couple of days so don’t think we fallen off the face of Ukraine. We’ll update as soon as we can. We’ll be writing each day to track the events and then post all we have when we can.

My apologies for the possible lack of updating. I know when I was following other families during their travels, I was always waiting for their updates. I won’t post pictures of the kids until after the court date; at least that’s my intention.

Virginia wants to add that if you have problems sleeping on pillows other than your own, bring your own. She sleeps with a tempurpedic pillow at home and is having problems with the apartment pillows. Be prepared to do lots of walking. High heels are definitely the norm, but can be quite treacherous on the old cobblestone streets.

We spent the day today seeing some sites of sites of the city again. We visited one of the large churches here. Quite magnificent!! We took the underground and metro trains around town. The underground is quite deep and quite crowded. We also took some busses topside which weren’t nearly as crowded as the trains. The underground (subway) is quite clean as is Kiev at large. Overall, I’m quite impressed with Kiev and would like to spend more time here as a tourist. The driving is pretty fast for a city, but not as bad as I thought it would be. They don’t like to stop for pedestrians, but will when push comes to shove and you walk in front of them.

I now need some time to format the pictures for posting so I’m signing off for now. We’ll catch as catch can.

Some of our pictures can be viewed here:
http://www.pbase.com/higgmeister/adoption

We were hoping to check email from here but can't. We'll keep trying from another location. They won't let Vista systems connect in this cafe.

First Impressions

2008-10-19T04:10:00.000-07:00

18Oct2008

We are here!!!!

We don’t have any internet connectivity at our apartment so we'll be posting these from an Internet cafe. I’m not sure how I’m going to get photos into the blog, but I’ll do what I can to get you access to them.

Can you believe we were late for our flight. We arrived at JFK 3 hours early because we had to check out of our room by 1pm. We were working on our Russian in the food court and decided to get to the gate about 50 minutes before takeoff. We were thinking that boarding would be about Ѕ hours before takeoff but we were wrong. When we got to the gate, it was nearly deserted and they rushed us onto the plane. We finally got off the ground 45 minutes late, but not due to us leaving the gate early. The flight itinerary said it was a 10.5 hour flight and the pilot said it was only an 8 hour flight. We got to Kiev 1 hour early so no worries. FYI, we flew Delta.

Customs note for those waiting to travel: The limit for undeclared cash is now 10,000 Euros, not US dollars.

Anatoliy (our facilitator) and Irina (translator) met us at the airport and brought us to our apartment. There’s a convention in town so many of the apartments were already occupied. We’re in a studio apartment but we have a kitchen, washing machine and microwave. The price was quite reasonable for being several blocks from Independence square (Moose, google earth it).

We spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon getting the layout of downtown Kiev. Anatoliy stopped by the SDA and found out our appointment is at 10am on Monday (YEAH!!!!). (For family, Monday morning is an ideal time for the appointment because new children become available). We had breakfast at a cafeteria style Ukraine restaurant. Yum-Yum. I can tell borscht is going to be a regular with me because I really like the stuff. Even Virginia enjoyed the borscht which she didn’t like at our hometown Moscow Deli. Then again, this was much better (not just accounting for the location). OK, I went on too much about the food, but it’s nearly always about the food.

Irina and us then spent a few hours walking to Independence Square, the underground mall and showed us a few sights. We walked in a large circle to do a little shopping. I brought a heavy jacket which is too warm for Kiev right now so I needed to pick up a lightweight jacket. It seems my lack of a jacket on a rather cool, overcast day was making our hosts a bit cold. Good news for us is that Irina will be with us throughout the journey. Both she and Anatoliy are very hospitable and we’re glad we have them both.

Since I didn’t think to bring my camera on our shopping trip, I’ll be a shutterbug tomorrow. We’re going to meet another couple that we’ve been in contact with as they process out. We’ll make more observations of Kiev when we have some pictures to go with it. This is already a bit long since we can’t even post it till tomorrow (Sunday) so I’ll sign off for now. Just imagine that this was just a quick update. Wait till I actually have something important to say…

On our way :)

2008-10-17T08:18:00.000-07:00

Just a note for new readers. Here begins our travels to adopt our two children awaiting us in Ukraine. The previous portion of our blog is geared more towards pre-adoptive parents and contains our journey just to get to this part.

Well, our first segment of the trip was uneventful. We arrived in NYC at 11pm, baggage carousel was broken down for a spell and we finally got to our hotel at 1am. Two very tired people, even this morning.

There’s no time for any sightseeing and we even got a late checkout so we could rest a bit longer. Rest wouldn’t be so critical, but we didn’t get to bed till after 4am with only a few hours sleep before we had to be up and ready to travel. Yawn!!!

OK, so there isn’t much to report at this stage. I have to say we weren’t impressed with JFK. It took us awhile for Virginia to figure out where we needed to be for catching the hotel shuttle. We’re not looking forward to bringing two tired children as well as a couple of tired adults through here again, but that’s what we’ll do.

We take off today on a 4:20 flight from JFK to Kiev and will arrive Kiev at 9:05 Saturday morning. We are not going to use the VIP service because that would have run us $130 and figured well just hoof it. Our facilitator and an interpreter will meet us at the airport, from there we really don’t know what to expect. They’ll get us into an apartment, hopefully by Independence Square so we can do some shopping.

We did take others advice about packing light…well, kind of. Our necessities take up a carryon, small suitcase and light garment bag. We have a large, heavy suitcase filled with kid’s cloths (thanks Claudia) and toys. Luckily, most this stuff will stay in Ukraine at the orphanage.

Again, we hope to update the blog daily, but that will depend on our Internet access.

Cheers All.

Thanks Sis, Sis and Moose for helping us get ready.

It's 3 am, do you know where your kids are?

2008-10-14T02:49:00.000-07:00

OK, I just couldn't help myself.

It's nearly 3 am and I'm still not asleep. Just got done looking thought about 4000 photos (digital) to pick a few for a photo book/scrapbook that we can show the children. We still need to take a few pictures around the house for them as well. We picked up a scrapbooking program and it looks like it will do a nice job of putting our digital pictures into a format that is interesting. Of course it will take some nudges from us to get it looking the way we want it.

We have two days to go and still have a house to clean, clothes to wash and loads of junk to move from the garage to our now completed shed so we can park our car in the garage while we are gone.

We are nearly done collecting goods for the trip. Tonight, we went shopping for a few items and picked up 3 jars of peanut butter (not for us, but to give away while there), a playdough kit with plenty of extra playdough and some other little toys. We figure whatever toys/games we take, we will leave with the kids that have to stay behind; just a little something for them.

It's hard to believe that the time has actually come, or nearly so. We've been working towards this for quite some time. In the mid 90's, we were stationed in Germany and looked into adoption while there, but couldn't even come close to affording it on military pay. When we got settled into civilian life in 2000, we started a local adoption. To make a long story short, we got lost in the paper shuffle as did many others which made us look overseas for children. After looking at many different countries, Ukraine tugged at our hearts the most; we also liked the process of Ukraine over any of the other countries. I know, it sounds wierd that someone would want to go blind, but after the failed local adoption, we didn't want to attach to a piece of paper and video just to have the children possibly not be adoptable. With Ukraine, we will see and learn about our children a day or so before we meet them. Emotionally, we both feel it's easier on us this way. And now, all the waiting is nearly done; the waiting has to be some of the hardest parts of this journey.

We've been pretty open about our adoption and most people react very positivily to it. We've had numerous individuals and businesses help us in getting things done. I believe that being open about the adoption has helped us get things done quicker and easier. If we were to ever do this again, I think we would be just as open as we've been about this adoption.

Yes, we have preconceptions of some of the things we would like to see. We openly discuss these with family and friends and of course their responses are as varied as there are colors in a rainbow. We might not always agree with their suggestions, but we listen and keep them in mind because at this point we just don't know... We're on a train that has no track; it'll be interesting to see where we end up at the end of the day. We are both positive and excited about the impending changes to our lives.

It's now well after 3 am and it's time to close these tired eyes. Sorry for the lack of information in this post, it's just the musings of a tired and excited PAP. Good Night :)

Stressed to the MAX

2008-10-10T07:57:00.000-07:00

Less than a week to go and we are nearly there. We're leaving on the 16th and will arrive in Kiev on the morning of the 18th. There are so many small things to put into place when the length of travel is this long. It seems like as we get some things checked off our list, new ones crop up.

As for the actual trip, we have most of what we need (and then some) but just need to organize it and get it packed. It took me several weeks to acquire all the monies in clean bills. We back with a small credit union and they don't have control over what bills they receive from other institutions. They were helpful in that they would order the money for us and presort through it for the good 100's, but it still took longer than expected to get all that we were going to take.

Though other couples didn't have any problems carrying all that cash, we feel very uncomfortable about it. I'm not sure what other options we have so we'll do what everyone else has done.

So, with the 20th nearly upon us, do we feel ready? No...and YES!! Could we spend more time with the minute details here, sure, but then again they never end. It's been a long time in coming and we are more than ready to get into this. We are very excited, not only with the adoption, but the travel as well. I would love to have more time to work on our Russian, but I figure we'll get along fine. As a last minute purchase, we picked up an iTravl translator from Ectaco. We'll let you all know if the purchase was worth it. We're hoping it will be of use with the children once we get home as well as our travels. Knowing the luck we've had so far, we'll probably end up in a Ukrainian speaking region :).

Not much else to report on but just going crazy with excitement and stressing over the small stuff. I do promise to update this on a near daily basis while we are travelling. It's our link to family and friends. I hope to post lots of pictues.

Until next post, have a wonderful day.

Chris and Virginia

Not too much new to report

2008-09-26T17:19:00.000-07:00

Soon after we received our notice of appointment, we received a fax of our appointment letter in Ukrainian. Though we couldn't read it, we were still excited by the fact that we had it. So, it's official that we will have our appointment on the 20th. We already have our plane tickets and will be leaving Reno on the 16th and arriving in Kiev on the morning of the 18th. It's hard to believe that this day is almost upon us.

The stress levels are running high since it seems that is so much to do and so little time to do it in. We're busy trying to get some items as well as the clean bills. We back with a small credit union and we aren't getting all the money we need. Then again, we are trying to scrape up a bit more cash because the flights were more that we had hoped. So, I'm writing this while away on a business trip and beginning to feel panicked about time left. I know it will all fall into place, but it hasn't happend yet!!

As for travel, we decided to use a travel agent the Virginia works with through the company she works for. The Aerosvit prices were more reasonable but the savings weren't all that and the schedule wasn't all that favorable for us. We are breaking up the trip into two parts since we are on the West side of the states. We'll overnight it at JFK and catch the afternoon flight to Kiev on Delta and do the same on the return. We figured the kids would like to stretch their legs after an 11 hour flight to JFK and I know we will want to as well. As for the adoption fares with Delta, they weren't even close to competitive with just doing a RT and pay for the changes. We'll also book RT flights for the kids and trow away the return trip as it's half as much as a one way ticket. All said and done, it'll run us just over 5K for all of us to get there and back. Are there cheaper ways to go, yes, but not by much and the JFK to Kiev is a straight though shot.

I'm hoping to catch up on some blogs tonight since I haven't had much of a chance lately.

Cheers,

A New Beginning

2008-08-28T17:53:00.001-07:00

We're Back!!
For those who've been following this blog, sorry for being gone so long. After our vacation, I was called out of town a few times on extended business trips. Then to top is all off, my system crashed and I lost me passwords for this site as well as others. That meant I couldn't even even leave messages on others blogs. Now to the updates.

We did get a new facilitator. We got busy and did get a new dossier submitted, nearly on time. We forgot to send one document and didn't have time to get there by July 23rd. Our facilitator worked with the director of the SDA and was OK'ed to submit it as long as all the dates were before the 23rd. He got our dossier submitted on the 25th, I think.

So, as it stood, we were told that our dossier was submitted, again, and we waited. At about 20 work days, I started following up to see what the status was.

Yesterday, we got word that our appointment date is October 20th :). Hoorah!! Our facilitator offered to fax us the appointment letter and we just got him a fax number. We are looking forward to seeing it first hand. We have confidence that we have this date.

Reality is setting in and it's now time to get everything in order. We need to find someone to look after our house for up to 2 months. I need to find a skilled computer geek to look after my clients while I'm gone. We need to set up our travel amunst so many other things that we are thinking of. Though the pressure is now on, it's all small stuff compared to getting where we are now. It's taken us 1 1/2 years to get where we are now. We're so excited and looking forward to actually getting there, it's hard to deal with.

So we are entering the last phase here at home. So much to do and so little time to get it done.

Thanks for your patience while following this blog.

Thanks for all the support

2008-06-08T21:03:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for your encouragement and positive comments. We haven't dropped off the face of the planet, we've just been incredibly busy.

We are pushing forward on the Ukrainian adoption front. We've been running around getting everything updated. Our HS updated interview has been completed and we are now waiting to get the referrals and background checks back (yes, we had to redo all these). Our state background checks should be back within a couple of weeks. Our medicals have been redone for the third time. And on top of all this, I've been incredibly busy with work so time has been in very short supply. Unfortunately, I'm now out of town for this week on business and will have Virginia try and get some of the other stuff done, if she can get the time off work. I think all the time consuming items are taken care of and just have the local quick stuff to do (ie. marriage license, house deed, my statement of earnings, etc.).

I'm hoping to catch up on some blogging this week in the evenings. I'm actually at a remote mine site that connects only by satellite so I'll see how much I can actually catch up on. Then we are on vacation for the next two weeks so there won't be much I can do, adoption wise for the next three weeks. I guess there is no real good timing for anything, but I'll get it when it can.

We didn't realize how much we need this vacation. We haven't vacationed for the last two years expecting to travel when we adopt. Now that vacation is imminent, we are so ready. It will feel good to just get away. Though there are things that will still need to be done, we can't do them while away so we are just going to hold tight and (try) not to worry about them while sunning (burning) on the beach.

So for now, not much new news; just pushing forward with Ukraine. I hope to have some (good) news to report on my next post.

The other couple who went through the same ordeal we did has been notified that they were submitted on June 4th. Our prayers are with them that it all goes well this time around.

Cheers all and thanks again,
Chris and Virginia

A New Day

2008-05-22T19:01:00.000-07:00

Usually, it's darkest just before it goes pitch black. The heavens have opened up and given us light to see by. As you know, there was another couple in the exact same position with the same facilitator. There has been lots of confusion, lack of communication and plain old lying by the facilitator. Through this confusion, it looked as though our Ukrainian journey was taking a bad twist and we even considered that, though our hearts were there, that this country wasn't meant to be for us. Through perseverance, prayer and dumb luck, we are still in with Ukraine.

We actually have a date of July 23rd to submit our dossier. This is wholly workable for us and we can even enjoy our vacation :). We already have some appointments and will be making more in the very near future. I now don't see any roadblocks for us regarding or dossier submission. We have to have some faith that this is actually our date and when the submission sheet comes out, we'll ask a favor of someone to actually check it. We'll deal with that when the time comes; one step at a time. I need to preserve what sanity I have left.

We've been looking into Hungary and like the process there as well. It can take a long time but we would hope that with our broad requirements that it would not take quite as long. We are still going to pursue this avenue as a secondary route. It's a long stay in country, but you spend the time with the child/ren getting to know them. Essentially, you foster them for a month over there before the adoption becomes final. That's a rather nice thought; getting to take them places over there. I view it as a kind of vacation with potential children.

I don't know if many of you have found our requirements, but we are looking for a sibling group of 2 between the ages of 2 - 12 yrs old and at least one a girl. Healthy is preferable, but moderate issues are workable depending on what they are. As you can see, we are open to a rather large range. We are a childless couple, not by choice, and really love having children around. We hate having to give our nephews and nieces back when they visit.

Sorry for the long post, but we are in better spirits. We love roller coasters. Though things are looking brighter than they were several days ago, we are ready to get off this ride. Enough is enough, but we will be here though it all. This may sound selfish, but the children deserve it and so do we; let's get this done.

Once again, we thank you all for your prayers, thoughts and advice. We may be contacting some of you in the near future as we evaluate our options.

Thanks Again,
Chris and Virginia

Update on our options

2008-05-20T22:50:00.000-07:00

First, we want to say thank you all for your prayers, thoughts and advice.

Just so you know, we are not giving up by any means. Money is the least considered factor, but we still need to keep it in mind (not rich, just saved awhile to afford this). We've looked at our options realistically. We contacted Washoe County Child Protection Services about an update for the HS. No fees for this, but we need to do another background check which takes about 10 days. Ouch. The state background checks take 2 weeks on a good day and that is expedited. Redoing the medicals could be done probably without any problems. Then, if we got the dossier there on time, it still needs to be translated which I imagine could be expedited as well. The most significant factor is whether we actually have a June 4th appointment. There is a translator which is going to check on this today (Wed Ukraine time).

We are giving our current facilitator one chance to keep us and that's to get us a date with the existing dossier. The date would have to be verified by the letter from the SDA. We are also looking for another facilitator that will take us and hopefully has a submittal date for later this year. As I said before, we aren't giving up.

One other option we are looking into is changing countries (we have one in mind). This is an option we can pursue now to see the viability. I only see Ukraine becoming harder next year with more uncertainties, but that didn't prevent us this last year. We still have options and are not closing any doors. I know many of you have had similar problems that you've overcome. With prayers, tenacity and some luck, we will overcome this as others have.

Thank you everyone for putting up with my rants and vents. I think I'm done with that and hope to get back to posting positive forward movement soon. Thank you again :-).

Decision making time - Venting

2008-05-19T17:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I wish I had received better news than this. We have a June 4th submission date. Wait a minute, didn't I tell you all our dossier was submitted in February. Well, that's what was told to our agency and that's what we were told. Now, the facilitator comes back today and says we have a this new date.

OK, so what's that problem, we now have a date. Well, our entire dossier will have to be redone because the last updates were in January. This means that I need to get an updated HS done, physicals done again along with lab tests, everything re-notarized and apostilled.

So again I say, what's the problem. Nevada apostilles take 7-10 working days but I can get them expedited. I've spent over $1K getting documents expedited and nothing to show for it. I would have to spend at least another $600 to get these expedited and could cost more depending on how long everything else takes.

So, I think that this could be possible if I dropped everything else. I run my own business and this week is filled with critical timing for my clients so now I have a further dilema, loose my clients and pursue the adoption (no way to now pay for it) or look at other options. I no longer trust our facilitator to get the job done so that leaves me with finding another facilitator who could submit us this year. I could let him submit it then try and change facilitators, but the atmosphere in Ukraine, I feel, is rather hostile right now to IA. This adoption is at the top of our priority list, but we still have to be reasonable about our decisions.

So tonight, Virginia and I are going to look at the options and decide. We may choose another country and cut our losses here. My heart has been in Ukraine for several years now, why I don't understand. Though it is still there, we may end up going to a different country. We may stay the route and see if we can get a later submission date. No matter what way we go, we will have to redo our complete dossier.

We need to take some time and decide what is the best possible way to go. This will be a hard decision. :( It seems that all I've been doing lately is venting but there is an upside. Virginia's brother and family are going to Mexico in June for a vacation. It's a wonderful place on the Carribean side that we've been to before and love. They've been hounding us to come along and we've been in limbo since we didn't know when we would be traveling. Well, it's now decided; we need a vacation and time away so we are going. We get to hang with a wonderful family and this should rejuvenate us for whatever is coming next.

Starting to get frustrated!!

2008-05-13T11:22:00.001-07:00

Still not a word from our facilitator. Our agency has been in constant contact with us on this and have been great. We are not sure what the issue is, but we are starting to get worried. There is another couple that got submitted on the same day as us and their dossier had not been given a date yet either. Well, just before the holidays last week, the SDA did a search and finally found their dossier. It seems that theirs was misplaced by them and we are hoping that ours can be found in the same place. We don't know if ours is lost or not and are waiting to hear word from the facilitator.

I've taken the Ukrainian holiday week off of blogging just to try and clear my mind. I'll remotivate once I hear something, hopefully it'll be positive.

OK, I've vented for now. I hope those of you who are in the process are going along smoothly. For those of you already home, I hope the same for your family.

Cheers to you all :)

We are being shaken up!

2008-04-30T22:40:00.000-07:00

I know things have been shaky at the SDA, but Reno, Nevada lately has been ridiculous. We are averaging about 50+ earthquakes a day. Granted, most are not felt, but we get a few good shakers each day that reminds us that Mother Earth is quite active. The Geologists I work with think it's a new fault that's doing all the shaking. Many of the epicenters are under a new and expensive subdivision. I guess their housing prices will be dropping for awhile till things settle down.

I find it quite exciting. I know I'm kinda twisted, but it's a humbling experience and reminds me just how small we really are in the big scheme of things. I spent much of my youth in Southern California and weathered many larger earthquakes, always enjoying each one.

I know this post has nothing to do with adoptions, but just had to give it a mention. If you want to see a map of earthquakes in the US, go to www.usgs.gov and click on the earthquake maps on the left.

Still No Date :(

2008-04-29T21:42:00.000-07:00

It's been two months and we still don't have a date. We're now getting anxious and a bit worried. We are trying to find out from the facilitator what's going on with our dossier. We know of another couple that is having the same problem. Our agency has been in regular contact with us and they aren't sure what's going on with our dossiers either.

We are still not under the gun yet. Our next set of documents that expire is our HS in late August. Either we're going to need to get a date soon or we may end up having to get a short notice travel which I just as soon not get. A mid to late July date could easily see us having to update our HS before we travel. Our HS cost us $3600 and can't readily afford to pay that again. I guess we should look into what it will take to get it updated and hope they don't charge a substantial fee for it.

As adoptions go, this one is being rather expensive. We've already spent 10K+ and haven't even traveled yet nor payed anything to the facilitator. It'll be worth it in the end; I just wish we could have avoided some of the expediting fees. Had we tried this a few years back, we wouldn't have been able to afford it and could have been discouraged enough not to be here now. There is a time and place for everything and we feel this is our time and Ukraine the place; we won't be discouraged!!

We hope that those awaiting word get it soon. For those about to travel, God speed and hope all goes well. And for those back from your journey, may your dreams for your family come to fruition.

Thank You Nataliya for your offer.

Nothing New

2008-04-09T17:09:00.000-07:00

All quiet on the Eastern front. I checked in with our agency this week and they have nothing new. There are a few couples that have had their dossiers submitted around the same time and we are all still waiting for word. What's kinda funny here is that we're not stressing over this wait. We're both quite content to wait a short while for the appointment date. Things are crazy over there right now so waiting till things settle a bit might be for the good. Who knows?

We had a wonderful visit with Virginia's brother and family. Bill and Laura drove their 5 kids down from Portland, OR. over the Easter break. Bill had to go back to work so we let them borrow our Mustang and we used their urban assault vehicle (mini van) for the week. What a difference in driving between the two. They're great kids (4 girls and 1 boy) which made for a wonderful week of play for me and more work for Virginia (she enjoyed the visit too). The 11 hour drive back to Portland was uneventful except for a stomach bug that was going around the kids. I've come to realize that I have a stomach of steel since I had to wash out parts of the van during the trip.

Small Update about timing

2008-03-20T22:49:00.000-07:00

Well, I have a possible bit of timing on our travel date. It seems that a family adopting older/special needs children have an early June travel date. From what I understand, their dossier was submitted a couple weeks (mid February) before ours, so I'm guestimating a mid to late June as a possibility for us. Just an FYI.

Again, this is all conjecture and is subject to change on a whim. But at least someone who submitted their dossier this year has an appointment date so things are beginning to move for 2008 :). Keep the faith, chin up and march ahead!

Cheers

Nothing new, just happy Saint Patrick's day

2008-03-17T19:36:00.000-07:00

I don't expect to hear anything soon so we are just waiting,...patiently. We've been trying to keep up with all the other blogs we read but there just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day. It takes us about 3-4 days to make the round trip though all the blogs and boards.

Have a Happy Saint Patrick's Day. We reckon we can say that since we're both at least half Irish by ancestry :).

Great News for us :)

2008-03-03T16:51:00.000-08:00

I can now say that we've been recently submitted. Yeah!!!

Things were crazy last week, in a good way. The week ended on such a high note. Virginia's brother and his family will be down for Easter and we found out we were submitted :). We've also been nesting again, looking at kids beds, painting rooms, buying furniture for the upcoming family growth. We're just having way too much fun.

From my understanding, for what it's worth, is that the numbering system (dossier registration number) didn't start at 1 for 2008, but continued from where 2007 left off. I guess there were some assumptions made on one of the boards which didn't sound quite right. I had a hard time imagining the quota already filled up when the year had just began. Then again, this is Ukraine we are talking about (not meant in a negative tone). I'm hoping that the SDA can get in the groove and streamline their process for everybody's sanity.

Lastly but not least, I want to congratulate 'About A Child' for getting their Hague accreditation. That's all for now, just a quick update :).

Amazing what one can find

2008-03-02T19:21:00.000-08:00

Two weekends ago, Virginia and I were in Portland, Oregon visiting her brother and his family. We always enjoy visiting with him and his wife, not to mention the fun we have with their 6 kids. Portland was having unseasonable weather as there were two sunny days in a row. With the nice weather, two of their girls wanted to have a picnic with me in the park/highschool grounds across the street.

While walking through the grassy area on the school grounds, I walked over a small baggie that contained a yellow brown crystalline substance. I really didn't want to handle this thing, but I couldn't just leave it there either. I gave it to my brother-in-law to have it destroyed. He contacted the Portland police who sent over an officer to take possession of the drug. Our suspicion was that it was crystal meth and the police officer guessed the same. Though I know about this drug, I've never had the displeasure of seeing it first hand until now.

We used this instance to teach all the kids what this particular drug looked like and to not handle it. The officer also explained what the drug does and how it can wreak someones life. It seems that many of us know someone personally where this drug has damaged an otherwise good person. I can only hope that these kids learned a valuable lesson and never touch this stuff.

Later that day, the police officer confirmed what the drug was after testing it. There must be a really bummed drug dealer out there because the officer appraised the street value at about $600. She explained that this was a very pure form in large crystals and not the powdery stuff the users usually use. I'm glad this little bit is off the streets.

The scariest part here is that I found it on school grounds where some kids could have thought it was rock candy and eat it, or a dog could have consumed it. I don't know how lethal eating crystal meth is, but I don't want some child to find out the hard way. All's well that ends well.

May a Smile be Upon You All

2008-01-31T18:57:00.000-08:00

We received our state background checks in the mail today :). First thing tomorrow morning I'll be heading to Carson City to have these documents Apostilled. Due to cost, we'll have to wait until Monday to pick up the documents and then get them shipped off. We're hoping this update will be the last one we'll have to do and the dossier can get submitted.

Just a quick update, no novella today. Virginia is always telling me that I ramble on so, and here I'm doing it again.

I do want to thank the Nevada Department of Safety for getting me these documents in a VERY timely manner. Thanks!!

More Dossier Updates

2008-01-29T19:02:00.000-08:00

Originally, when we started this blog, we imagined that there would be more updates than what we have. We also planned on just keeping this blog specifically orientated to our adoption process. Well, from the lack of updates, you can see that the process is going much slower than we had hoped and expected. So far, we are keeping this blog adoption process related.

It's hard to believe that it's already time to update some of our documents. We got an email last week listing three items that needed to be updated, the state security check, physicals w/tests and the home study social workers license (it expired on Dec 31st, 2007). It's Tuesday and we have completed the physicals w/tests, the SW license and are awaiting the security checks in the mail. When I submitted the forms and fingerprints, they said that it would be several weeks because they were backed up. I asked if there was a way to speed things up and explained why we were in a hurry. I was advised to make a note on the forms because the person who does the checks is sympathetic to adoptions and I might just get it expedited. We wait by the mail box each day with baited breath. OK, we're usually at work when the mail comes but it's the first thing checked before we step into the house.

When our Dossier was sent to Ukraine, we had hoped that this stage of hurry up and wait was over. Now, here we are again. We've read many blogs and stories of this part of the journey taking 1 to 2 years and couldn't understand how this could be. Now we know and hope to get through this once and for all. We're approaching the year mark when we started this process in earnest (it's been such a long year). When we started this process, we never would've expected this to happen unless the Ukrainian gov't closed it down again. We did get caught up in the quota shutout and that's what has slowed this process down. We're hoping that 2008 will be the year!

Lastly, there is significant cost with these redo's. And, since we are needing to hurry the process to try and get it done in early February, we once again need to expedite these documents through the apostille process. The basic cost of redoing these documents is at least $500, assuming our insurance is going to cover the physicals and lab tests. OUCH!!

A little late for us, but the lesson I can pass on to others is this:
-The HS and USCIS takes the most time to complete.
-The state security checks take about 3 weeks and is about the second longest process.
-If hindsight was foresite, I would have waited to do the simple, quick tasks till the end so I wouldn't have to worry about those items expiring too soon.
-If you do have to redo documents, it much easier because you already know the paths :).

We hope this little bit of info can help others keep their expenses down in the end.

Happy New Year

2008-01-01T23:54:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year and a belated Merry Christmas.

My intentions for this blog is to keep is pretty close to our adoption journey. Well, as you can see, there hasn't been anything happening for the last month. This was such a disappointment for Virginia and I. We were hoping that we would have been accepted in the 2007 submittals but just wasn't in the cards for us. We know our kids are there when we get there, but it's still hard to now push this out several more months.

Our New Years was quiet like usual. It's not a big deal for us. We spent it at home with our nephew and one of my wife's brothers. We watched all three "Resident Evil" movies and had a wonderful dinner.

Our Christmas started on a rough note but ended up being quite a wonderful experience. We decided to visit with one of Virginia's brother and family in Bend, Oregon. The roads were very icy and just enough so to put us in a ditch after doing a few 360's. I wanted to cry, but we were both unharmed and the damage could have been much worse. I baby my '06 Mustang and didn't even have a door ding after having her for over 2 years. Oh well, I guess that's what insurance is for.

Our visit went wonderfully. Bill and Laura have 5 kids living at home from ages 8 to 14. I had forgotten what it was like celebrating Christmas with so many young ones (I'm the youngest of 6). It was great just playing games and spending time together. They are a great bunch and we are glad to be a part of their family. It's these kids that made me realize that not having any children is what was lacking in my life as well as Virginia's.

As for our adoption, it's time to look at the expiration date of some of the documents and get them redone. We're concerned about all the appearant changes in Ukraine and hope these will settle down for the betterment of the children. I hope all goes well with those in the process and it goes easier for those about to embark on their own Ukraine adoption journey.

Happy Holidays to All.

Fear

2007-11-26T15:31:00.000-08:00

Fear: concern or anxiety; solicitude

I was reading a post on one of the adoption boards about fears experienced during the adoption process. I was tempted to post a reply only to realize that the current fears are mostly different than the fears when starting our process. Since we are in the middle of the process, this post will only address those fears up to the current stage.

Our first concern was how a child/children would change our relationship. We are soul mates and extremely close, now for over 17 years. We weren’t sure if we would be able to share our time on such a level that an adoptee would require. Without having the ability to have any bio children of our own, these were untested waters. We did spend a lot of time with our nephews and niece, but this we knew is different than having a child of our own. What we did share was a love of children and a growing need to have our own; to raise and nurture, to love and be loved, to teach and be taught by. We decided that our relationship was such that it allowed us to bring children into our lives and we would stand together, all of us. And so our adoption journey began, pushing aside any fears of change that will happen.

The fear of a failed adoption is still quite real after we experienced a failed attempt at a stateside adoption. We don’t have a strong need to adopt an infant (many others want it therefore we left it to them) so we started the process for a special needs child/children in Nevada. To make a long story short, everyone who went through the classes with us did not adopt due to different problems with the process. The local process has changed, but we weren’t willing to put ourselves through that process again. Also, the thought of having a birth parent suing for custody of our children steered us to international adoption.

How were we going to pay for an international adoption? Was our place of residence appropriate for raising kids? Without yet deciding on a country, we started saving money in general. It wasn’t a conscious decision for adoption, but the purpose was guided by a future adoption. We needed a larger residence that could accommodate us all so our purchase was larger than what we currently needed but adequate for a larger family. So we started saving again specifically with an adoption in mind. A small inheritance from my father allowed us to boost our savings to a point where we could now seriously look at IA adoption.

With those fears alleviated, it was time to choose a country. Ukraine always tugged at our hearts so we started doing the research. Ukraine had its own problems; corruption, unstable process, language and culture to name a few. It seems that the unstable process was our first hurdle. When we were about to move forward, Ukraine closed the process down. We looked at other countries but decided to wait awhile to see what is going to happen. We preferred the idea of a blind adoption for fear of attaching to a picture and profile only to have that child not being available for us (for whatever reason). By choosing Ukraine, we alleviated that fear and changed it for an uncertainty. Their process is on and off again, but we are now entrenched in the process so there isn’t any need to fear as we’re now just going with the flow. Though many call it corruption, we call it a difference in culture which can be resolved with money and connections. Our own country has expediting fees, the difference is that we post the costs up front. This is where the “who you know” is important and we feel we found a facilitator that we can depend on without nickel and diming us to the poorhouse. Language and culture are always a fear so we are addressing this. I’m learning some Ukrainian and Virginia and I will work on Russian together. I’ve read what I can on Ukraine but there is nothing like being there; soon enough.

The largest fear was actually related to the health of the children in Ukraine. We are ready to handle children with moderate problems, both physical and psychological. For awhile, RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) was our strongest fear. What can we do with a child that will not attach and has little regard for those around them. FAS/FAE (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome/Fetal Alcohol Exposure) is a strong concern as are so many other labels that many of these children have. I find that education has alleviated many of those fears as each has a way of being dealt with. It may take extra patience, love and a different parenting style but all can be dealt with in time. Are we going to get a perfect child (whatever that is)? In a word NO. But together, we will overcome whatever issues come up and bring these children up the best we can with whatever resources we can use. It’s not uncommon to have a Ukrainian diagnosis to be falsified by an American doctor. It’s also common to have conditions that are not diagnosed by the Ukrainian doctors so these fears are real and still exist. I’ve looked back at my childhood and realized that if I had grown up today, I would probably have many labels applied to me, and I came out OK (according to my wife).

Our latest fear is whether or not we made it for this year or not. We are caught up in some bureaucracy and waiting for word. If we missed this year, then we’ll have to redo some paperwork and submit for 2008. It’s an inconvenience and would have additional costs but not insurmountable. We’ve waited this long and will wait however long it takes to complete this process.

Together, and with prayers, we will prevail. Fear serves a purpose as long as we don’t let it control us. Each step presents its unique problems and fears, and each fear has its own solutions. Through fear, we’ve learned so much more than when we started this process and through education, fears have been alleviated or diminished. We hope that through education, your fears and apprehensions can also be alleviated.

Nesting

2007-11-06T21:16:00.000-08:00

First, no new news yet. Our paperwork is in limbo in Kiev. It's been translated but there were some issues with technicalities with a couple of forms. These were corrected awhile ago and just waiting to get word as to what our status will be.

NESTING

I've been reading the boards and blogs for nearly a year now and never did understand what PAP's meant by nesting. Now I understand. For me, it's easiest to think about what birds do in preparation for their young; create an environment that's conducive to raising their young, a nest.

Well, it appears that we've been nesting for awhile now and just didn't realize it. Several years ago when we were shopping for a house, we purchased one that would fit the family we had in mind. We're in the middle of fixing up a room for the kids. Since we don't know what we'll be getting, we are prepping one of our rooms for both kids. If we end up with a girl and a boy, then I'll convert our home office/computer room into a second bedroom for the kids. This will eventually happen anyway.

The room is being painted a light lilac and could be considered gender neutral. We've been shopping for beds but we're going to wait and get some input from the kids. Currently we have a day bed with a trundle that will work till we buy the furniture. I have to say that we're having a ball doing all these nesting things. I never thought shopping could be so much fun.

We both enjoy playing computer games when we can get the time to play. The last gaming console I owned was the Atari 2600. Well, we decided to get a gaming console that the whole family could participate in, we bought a Wii. I think Nintendo did a great job creating a family gaming system. It's not a hard core gamers system like the XBox 360 or Playstation 3, but it excels at group play (up to 4 players). The real test will come this weekend when we visit my brother-in-laws family (6 kids) in Portland. This will let them test drive the system with their family and I'm rather curious as to how they'll take to it. My nephew is a gamer so I expect he may not be overly impressed with the graphics, but he may get caught up in the game play as both Virginia and myself have been. We're having too much fun with the Wii.

No doubt there will be so many more things that we'll end up doing as the time grows nearer. For now, we're just doing what we can as time permits. This helps to pass the time as we wait.

Thanks for dropping by :).

Halloween

2007-10-31T19:15:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween.

Not much is happening. We had to expedite some paperwork changes today, but still in a holding pattern.

We've been tagged by Christine so here we go:

Job's We've had in our lives:
Virginia
Security (Casino and Hotel)
Bookkeeper
Office Mgr

Chris
Gas Station Attendant
TV Repair
Electronic Tech
Casino Security
USAF - Played with things that go boom
Computer Network Architect/Admin

Places We have lived:
Virginia
Maryland
Kentucky
Colorado
Missouri
Texas

US
Nevada
New Mexico
California
South Dakota
Germany
I never realized that we've moved around this much. Could be because both of us are military brats.

TV shows We like to watch:
Virginia
CSI, any of them
Dancing with the Stars
Law and Order
Any Forensic Shows
Are your being served (British)
Eureka

Chris
Usually some History, Travel and National Geographic channel.
Occasionally South Park when I'm waiting to go to sleep
Eureka

Places We've been to:
US
Too many to list but not enough to make us want to stay at home.

Favorite Foods:
Virginia
Chris' Spaghetti
Bratwurst mit Brotchen
Pizza
German foods (She was starting to list a bunch)

Chris
All food, I love to eat. Just don't tell me what's in it till after I've tried it.
I don't do broccoli.

Books We've read in the last 5 years:
Virginia
Too many. Favorite authors are Brian Lumley, Steven King, Raymond Fiest, Robin Cook

Chris
Raymond Fiest, Fantasy and reference books. I read what catches my eye.

Things We enjoy:
Virginia
Spending time with Chris
Crafts - Crochet, Beading, Embroidery, etc.
Rock Hounding
Reading and TV
Diet Sprite

Chris
Spending time with Virginia
Browsing the Internet for information
Photography and Photoshop
Rock Hounding
60's - 70's music
Diet Coke

I'll have to look around to see who to tag; can't think of anyone off the top of my head.

Real quite Halloween as usual. We don't get anyone at our door or on our street for that matter.

Awareness

2007-10-29T19:54:00.000-07:00

The more I learn, The more I realize the less I know.

Awareness is empowering unless you get too much in too short of time. I can’t begin to tell you how many hours I’ve spent trying to learn all I can in preparation for this journey. Especially in the early stages of research, I would get discouraged thinking of all the things that could go wrong. All the costs, all the conditions that the children may have, all the paperwork that has to be nearly perfect to be accepted, all the closures and foreign laws that can effect the progress, all these and more tugging at a question, why? Then I read a story of a family that brought home their angel, pulled from the depths of institutional care, becoming a family in the end. Then I wonder why I asked why.

This turned out to be a rather long intro to some links from where you can find more information. There are so many more resources that I’m unaware of, but I hope these links will help the newcomer. Please don’t hesitate to let me know of others that would be helpful here.

I’m currently reading “Attaching in Adoption” by Deborah Gray. It’s so much more than just telling about the issues that many children have, but describes human nature and some ideas on how to deal with these issues. Our society loves to put labels on everything it seems. When I look back at my childhood and analyze it, I could probably put many labels on my behaviors that would scare the hell out of me if I was adopting myself (silly thought). My better half would say that I came out just fine. Ms. Gray does a good job at showing examples, what was done and the outcome. I’m enjoying the book immensely.

There are a couple of boards that I like to visit on a regular basis:

Frau (Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoptons) chat

http://www.frua.org/

Yahoo Group Adoption_from_Ukraine - Membersip

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Adoption_from_Ukraine/

The web sites are just too numerous to put here, but here are some to get you started:

USCIS - http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis

US Embassy in Kiev - http://kyiv.usembassy.gov/amcit_adoptions_eng.html

Ukraine Adoption Blog - http://ukraine.adoptionblogs.com

AdoptLove blog - http://www.adoptlove.com/blog/

US Dept of State - http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/country/country_369.html

A site listing more sites - http://www.adopting.org/adoptions/international-adoption-adopting-from-ukraine.html

Each site will lead you to other sites which lead to others ad nauseam.

One last resource that shouldn't be overlooked is a state/county run foster/special needs adoption program. We went through 36hrs of class for a local adoption in 2001. The sights we saw were very disturbing and others we reassuring and opened our eyes to many things that we hadn't considered. It's an invaluable resource for us, even after so many years.

I’ll have a blog list on this site once I get around to it.

Cheers and happy hunting J.

Post Adoption Depression

2007-10-27T23:26:00.000-07:00

This was something that I had gleaned from earlier searches, but now holds more meaning now that we are looking at travelling. The reality of the adoption is much more real now that the dossier is in country, plenty of money spent and just a volume of time expended to get here. I'm not going to rewrite what's already been written, but I will provide a few links that I've found useful.

Don't let this information discourage you. The reality is that each adoption is different because all the individuals involved are different. This information is being presented so that you can be aware of what may happen and know that if it does, you are not alone and there are ways to get through it.

http://international.adoption.com/foreign/psychologist-post-adoption-depression.html

http://www.rainbowkids.com/expertarticledetails.aspx?id=272

http://adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=470

There are many more sites, but these should give you an idea of what PAD (Post Adoption Depression) is and how to identify it.

I hope this helps.

Timeline & Problems

2007-10-25T20:48:00.000-07:00

I've been watching the Ukraine adoption drama unfold for some time. Once I saw the SDA (Ukraine agency responsible for international adoptions) accepting new dossiers again in Dec '06, we decided to move forward with our adoption journey. We spent a bit of time on the Internet researching agencies and facilitators. We contacted a few and decided the best answer for us was an assisted independent adoption.

Once we decided on an agency and probable facilitator, it was time to get into action. It was now time to find out what all this "dossier" stuff was. From the list, it appeared the home study would take the longest. Unfortunately, my business had me traveling through March into April; so we applied April 10th for the home study. Two years ago, there were numerous agencies in Northern Nevada that did home studies; now only Washoe County performed these in our area. Our packet arrived and we started collecting all the required paperwork. We completed it in early June and was scheduled for the in-home interviews in July. Timing was still not a problem since they said the home study could be completed in about a month (early August). This didn't happen since it seems the background check got lost in the process. The home study wasn't delivered to the USCIS until September 4. A whole month was lost, OUCH!!

Going back in time just a little, we knew that we could submit our application for the I-600A to the USCIS (formerly the INS) before the HS (home study) was completed. The background check for the USCIS could take several weeks so we submitted our application on June 27th. We were hoping that the fingerprints for the background check would be taken while we waited for the HS; no such luck. I was informed by my agency that Ukraine's quota was filling up and we needed to speed the paperwork up and try and get it in by the end of Sept. I went to our local USCIS office to expedite our application. After filing paperwork explaining our situation, they let us get our fingerprints for the background check on the following Wednesday (12th) without an appointment.

On Monday (17th), Virginia contacted the FBI fingerprinting/background section and spoke to a real person. This person confirmed that the fingerprints were received on the 12th and the background check was returned to the USCIS on the 12th (same day). From what I've read, the FBI gives priority to adoption and arrest checks. Tuesday, I was in the USCIS office trying to find out what the holdup was. The front counter agents were always courteous and helpful, though I know they were tired of seeing my face 1-2 times a week. One of the ladies looked up our background checks and printed them out. She explained that our folder would be adjudicated which could take 2-3 days. After two more visits to the local office with no status change, I was notified by mail that there was a problem with the HS. It took over a week for me to receive the letter; more time lost. Time is running out and I'm not getting much cooperation from the USCIS.

The HS was fixed and resubmitted very quickly. Our SW with the county sympathized with us and did what she could to expedite the HS. I visited the local office again and requested to pick up the I-171H when completed in person to help speed the process. I was denied the request as it's not their normal procedure. It was time to kick up the pressure a notch or two. We contacted our Congressman's office and requested help in this matter. They contacted the local USCIS office on Monday morning; I received a call Monday afternoon that my I-171H was completed and I could pick it up on Tuesday morning.
Note: Thank you Amy for the Congressman's information and may God speed your journey to Guatemala for your daughter :).

I already had all the docs back from the agency so I could get them apostilled ASAP. After picking up my I-171H, I drove to Carson City to have the docs apostilled. Well, I couldn't afford a same day expedite on the docs so I opted for a 24 hr. expedite. I sent the docs via DHL which takes 3 days. Well, I had missed a single doc in the original dossier, so off to Carson City again to repeat the process. This time I did a 4 hr expedite. Once again, the workers pitied my poor soul and got it back to me within an hour. Back to Reno and on to DHL again. This doc only took 2 days (1.5 days actual time) to get delivered; that's service.

Note on Nevada apostille expedite fees. If you don't need expediting (7-10 business days), the cost is $20 for each document. A 24hr expedite is $75 for each different notary of which I had 7 plus the apostille fee of $20 for each doc. See how fast this adds up. The 4 hr. expedite is $125, 2 hr. expedite is $500 and a 1 hr. expedite is, hold on, $1000. Now, I've read plenty of posts about whether the additional costs to expedite docs in Ukraine are fees or bribes. Does it really matter when the results are the same. For me to expedite my files, I took precedence over the normal processing of apostilles which I paid dearly for. The lesson here is not to get yourself into a situation where you have to expedite docs. If you do, then expect to pay for the privilege of faster processing. Just a reality check here.

Costs

2007-10-24T23:24:00.000-07:00

Costs will vary widely depending on who you use and what services are available in your area. I will not list costs for the agency and facilitator. Not only do these change with time and services provided, but it also varies between agencies and facilitators. This post will not be all inclusive but should give you an idea as to the general costs which depended upon our situation.

Home study conducted by Washoe County Child Protection Services. They were the only game in town. $3600 - Ouch!! The highest I've seen other than ours was $2000.

I-600A $755 which included fingerprints for 3 people.

Physicals and Lab Work were mostly covered by insurance (we got a break). $70

State Background Check $150 (for 3 people)

Apostille Docs $400 ($20 for each doc with a notary)
Expedite fee for apostilling docs (24hr) $570 (Time was critical)

DHL shipping (3 day) of docs $98 x 2 shippments = $196 total

Let's not forget the misc costs such as redecorating the rooms, travel to chase down docs, time off for appointments and doc chasing. Our costs for here are nearly over unless we need to redo some of the docs.

Costs still needing to be paid:
-Travel to and from Ukraine -- about 3-4 thousand
-Facilitator
-Living expenses in Ukraine -- don't have a clue
-Bills while we are gone and not earning any money -- way too much but we need a roof when we get back

Preamble

2007-10-22T17:58:00.000-07:00

Hopefully a short blurb on how we got to where we are.

We've been looking into adoption for quite some time. In 2001, we tried a local adoption which did not go through (county/state switching roles, lost paperwork, etc.). When we decided to go international, Ukraine became our first choice. We liked the idea of a blind adoption so we wouldn’t get attached to a file and picture. For us, this makes the most sense. Years went by as we moved into larger quarters to handle children, better jobs to afford the children (and adoption) and awaited the on-off again requirements for Ukraine.

There is a timeline along the right side which will lay out the events since we started this journey. We didn’t rush in the initial stages because we didn’t want to travel before September (due to SDA closures). The wait for our I-171H is what pushed our timeline beyond September.

We decided to go independent but use an agency (About A Child) for the dossier prep and overall help in getting this journey completed. We had some issues with the Home Study and other documents that has made this money well spent. The only agency conducting home studies located near us was Washoe County Child Protection Services (gov’t org). I’ve yet to see any HS cost as much as ours, but we didn’t have much of an option.

I want to thank many individuals who’ve donated their time and energy into helping with our adoption journey. Unfortunately, the open internet is not a good place to put up a lot of names so I’ll find another way to acknowledge them.